The advancement of internet technology means people do not need to travel to foreign countries to understand how people in other places live. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#advancement #internet #technology #people #travel #countries #places

Technology has made people aware of their surroundings. In

this

automation-driven world, some think it's preposterous to visit other countries in order to understand the lifestyle of individuals but I completely disagree with

this

. I,

however

,think it's imperative to travel in order to know diverse cultures. Recently, with global advancement, everyone is equipped with electronic gadgets and they consider it their entire world,

subsequently

, dissociation has overruled the public in a way that they are content with stalking people online rather than meeting them in person.

This

nevertheless

,enables them to get a sneak peek into every influencer's life who travels tremendously around the globe and gets notified about foreigners, their lifestyles and whatnot.

For instance

, Instagram allows a person living 10000000 miles away to follow another through perpetual pictures and instant messages so the desire to physical meeting curtails.

Furthermore

, I think travelling is more fun and a better way to familiarise oneself with different crowds and places.

Moreover

, no matter how advanced digitalisation becomes, One should never give up on travelling which entails an engrossing practice of knowing how people in other places live. Provided that,

this

mirth experience not only allows you to meet lots of folks and adopt their exclusive living habits but

also

inculcates feelings of acceptance and love for them. To exemplify, research conducted by the Travel Agency of London depicted, travelling has helped them become more receptive to others' living styles and vice versa.

Finally

, in my opinion, it's imperative to have

such

a personal involvement in spite of just scrolling through media to know how they spend their days. To recapitulate, the advancement of the Internet has made some think they do not need to fly around because they get to see whatever they want with just one taping action

conversely

, I think the opposite,

that is

, it's important to know how others live if one wants to upgrade,alter or experience something extraordinary about the diverse way of livings.

Submitted by kaswaahmed20 on Thu Jul 20 2023

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task response

Ensure that your arguments directly respond to the question prompt and address all aspects of the task. Provide a clear stance and support it throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

Work on organizing your ideas in a more structured and logical manner. Use transition words and phrases to connect your ideas and make the flow of the essay smoother.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

322 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The advancement of internet technology means people do not need to travel to foreign countries to understand how people in other places live. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that providing arms to police will lead to state violence, while others feel that it is essential to maintain law and order. Will the arming of police actually lead to violence and state terrorism? To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?