IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook, Twitter and so on) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #sites #facebook #twitter #impact #individuals #society
It is thought by many
individuals
 that Social networking sites have had a bad effect on individual
people
as well as
 on communities. In my opinion, the effects of
such
 sites have been proven mostly beneficial for
individuals
, I agree that they have had a negative
impact
 on the local
community
.
To begin
 with
individuals
, social media has
given
Verb problem
had
show examples
 a positive
impact
 on each individual person.
People
 from around the world together
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
such
 sites as Facebook, in the past,
people
 rarely had the chance to meet or communicate with anyone outside of their
community
 and family
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
.
Moreover
, Facebook
also
 has Groups that offer
individuals
 to join the group and participate in the activity.
However
,
people
 can receive immediate responses and save lots of time by using
this
 social application.
On the other hand
, the social media website's
impact
 has
had
Verb problem
been
show examples
 seen as negative on societies and local communities. It has been observed that
people
 interested
to be
Change preposition
in being
show examples
 online
instead
 of
participate
Wrong verb form
participating
show examples
 in local
community
 events.
In addition
,
people
 within local communities are no longer connected with each other and do not have close and supportive relationships.
Moreover
,
people
 in society have spent more time online with unknown
people
 who never meet them face to face or in the future. In conclusion, social media has a number of advantages and disadvantages but it has no
impact
 the same on
individuals
 and society.
Hence
, more efforts should be encouraged for local
people
 in physical activities in order to improve good health and the future of
community
 life.
Submitted by Ishaan433 on

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task response
Your essay needs to address all parts of the prompt in a more balanced way. Make sure to present both positive and negative impacts of social networking sites on individuals and society.
coherence cohesion
Try to organize your ideas more coherently by using transition words and logical progression of ideas. Also, ensure that your introduction and conclusion clearly present the main points of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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