IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some believe that going to university is the behile others believe that is it bettest route to a successful career. Wr to start work straight after high school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #university #behile #bettest #route #career #wr #work #school
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
While
Linking Words
 it is argued that the best way to be successful in workplaces is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 higher level of education, others believe that finding jobs
subsequently
Linking Words
 after finishing high
school
Use synonyms
 is
invaluble
Correct your spelling
invaluable
. In my opinion, there are fewer satisfactory occupations for high
school
Use synonyms
geraduated
Correct your spelling
graduate
graduated
 students. Studying at university
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 the best way to find a
job
Use synonyms
. For achieving a
well paid
Add a hyphen
well-paid
show examples
 or
statisfactory
Correct your spelling
satisfactory
job
Use synonyms
 people need to take courses at academic places.
Job
Use synonyms
 opportunities like these, usually demand a high level of knowledge. For
instanse
Correct your spelling
instance
, experts in many fields must learn how to work with specific
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
,
additionally
Linking Words
, individuals working in medical
servises
Correct your spelling
services
 should have a significant amount of information about diseases, signs, medicine and
patients
Change noun form
patients'
patient's
show examples
 conditions.
In contrast
Linking Words
, some people opine that schoolers must work just after completing high
school
Use synonyms
. They believe
adolecents
Correct your spelling
adolescents
 could learn skills in workplaces better than
pedagogical
Change preposition
in pedagogical
show examples
 places.
Although
Linking Words
 these
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of
job
Use synonyms
 seekers are able to get some experience, in many cases, these types of jobs are not well enough,
due to
Linking Words
 low wages.
These kind
Change the determiner
This kind
These kinds
show examples
 of professions,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add the comma(s)
,hand
show examples
 would be challenging for teenagers, there for attending universities would be the best approach to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a successful career. In conclusion, despite some
argue
Replace the word
arguments
show examples
 students should go
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 work right after finishing high
school
Use synonyms
. In my view, for finding a
desireable
Correct your spelling
desirable
 occupation, taking courses in educational centers is the best method.
Submitted by darkred6171 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: