It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age.Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

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the role of

punishment

Use synonyms

in acknowledging right and wrong in youngsters has sparked considerable controversy.

while

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some advocate for its beneficial impact, I,

along with

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others believe these punitive practices lead to an impaired mental state

instead

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however

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, there are some constructive prevention methods parents and tutors can adopt that are

further

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elaborated on in

this

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essay.

to begin

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with, there are several measures parents and teachers implement to achieve

this

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goal. punishments being one of them, is highly common among them and

in particular

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, physical ones. having mere and transient benefits,

such

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measures often result in kids' aggressiveness, resentment, and in some cases, depression as a means of escaping, leaving less mental capability or desire to foster any knowledge or adhere to other's regulations. to illustrate, a study conducted at the University of Arkansas demonstrated a positive correlation between

such

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practices and children's disengagement in classrooms, highlighting the detrimental role of physical

punishment

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nevertheless

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punishment

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is not always about acting physically.

in other words

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, depriving the kids of their beloved objects or practices,

such

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as their favourite toy or watching TV,

while

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being more gentle, prevents them from doing wrong and

thus

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, encourages them to conduct

Correct pronoun usage

themselves in

show examples

the proper way. take the kid who has bullied his peers as an example. one efficient

punishment

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here is restricting their resting time within classes which would lead to the acknowledgement of what they have done wrong;

therefore

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, the teacher has achieved the goal without hurting the child's mental health or prompting their disengagement. to put it in a nutshell, despite the deleterious impact of physical preventive actions, other forms of them can be used as an efficient way to tackle youngsters' wrongdoings and foster the ability to distinguish between what is wrong and what is right, without hurting their feelings or causing

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problems.

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coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-structured with clear main points; however, the introduction could benefit from more clarity and a stronger thesis statement to make your position more explicit.

coherence cohesion

Try to ensure that all examples directly support your main points. The mention of the study from the University of Arkansas is good, but it could be integrated more smoothly with your argument.

coherence cohesion

Be careful with your use of vocabulary and grammar to avoid minor errors. Phrases like 'in particular, physical ones' could be refined for better clarity.

task achievement

Your essay presents a balanced view by discussing both physical punishment and alternative methods. This helps to answer all parts of the question comprehensively.

coherence cohesion

The use of a real-life study from the University of Arkansas adds credibility to your argument.

task achievement

You provide practical examples that illustrate your points well, such as the kid who bullied his peers.

13
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

punishment
positive reinforcement
consequences
time-outs
removal of privileges
open communication
clear expectations
consistency
fairness
disciplinary action
proportionate
moral values
internalization

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