It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age.Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?
the role of
punishment
in acknowledging right and wrong in youngsters has sparked considerable controversy. while
some advocate for its beneficial impact, I, along with
others believe these punitive practices lead to an impaired mental state instead
. however
, there are some constructive prevention methods parents and tutors can adopt that are further
elaborated on in this
essay.
to begin
with, there are several measures parents and teachers implement to achieve this
goal. punishments being one of them, is highly common among them and in particular
, physical ones. having mere and transient benefits, such
measures often result in kids' aggressiveness, resentment, and in some cases, depression as a means of escaping, leaving less mental capability or desire to foster any knowledge or adhere to other's regulations. to illustrate, a study conducted at the University of Arkansas demonstrated a positive correlation between such
practices and children's disengagement in classrooms, highlighting the detrimental role of physical punishment
.
nevertheless
, punishment
is not always about acting physically. in other words
, depriving the kids of their beloved objects or practices, such
as their favourite toy or watching TV, while
being more gentle, prevents them from doing wrong and thus
, encourages them to conduct in
the proper way. take the kid who has bullied his peers as an example. one efficient Correct pronoun usage
themselves in
punishment
here is restricting their resting time within classes which would lead to the acknowledgement of what they have done wrong; therefore
, the teacher has achieved the goal without hurting the child's mental health or prompting their disengagement.
to put it in a nutshell, despite the deleterious impact of physical preventive actions, other forms of them can be used as an efficient way to tackle youngsters' wrongdoings and foster the ability to distinguish between what is wrong and what is right, without hurting their feelings or causing further
problems.Submitted by bita.rezaei7052 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with clear main points; however, the introduction could benefit from more clarity and a stronger thesis statement to make your position more explicit.
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that all examples directly support your main points. The mention of the study from the University of Arkansas is good, but it could be integrated more smoothly with your argument.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with your use of vocabulary and grammar to avoid minor errors. Phrases like 'in particular, physical ones' could be refined for better clarity.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view by discussing both physical punishment and alternative methods. This helps to answer all parts of the question comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
The use of a real-life study from the University of Arkansas adds credibility to your argument.
task achievement
You provide practical examples that illustrate your points well, such as the kid who bullied his peers.