IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many people today find it difficult to balance the demands of their work and personal life. What are the causes of this situation, and what can individuals and employers do to reduce the problem? You should give reasons for your answer, and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience.

In recent years, many
individuals
Use synonyms
 find
challenging
Correct pronoun usage
it challenging
show examples
 to balance the demands of their
work
Use synonyms
 and personal life. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 explain the cause of
this
Linking Words
 trend and give some solutions for
individuals
Use synonyms
 and employers to reduce
this
Linking Words
 problem. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern life, many
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
heavy
Correct article usage
a heavy
show examples
 workload and numerous time to
solving
Wrong verb form
solve
show examples
 them effectively.
As a result
Linking Words
, employees have to stay longer and be available outside traditional working hours.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
nine to five
Use the right word
nine-to-five
show examples
 job
always
Verb problem
is always
show examples
 contactable
every where
Use the right word
everywhere
show examples
 and they must finish their
work
Use synonyms
 exactly.
In addition
Linking Words
, the labour market
Verb problem
is increasing
show examples
increasing
Replace the word
increasingly
show examples
competitive
Punctuation problem
competitive,
show examples
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 get more pressure,leading to health effects. To reduce
this
Linking Words
 problem, both
individuals
Use synonyms
 and employers can take several measures. On the individual level, people should learn to manage their time more effectively and set clear boundaries between
work
Use synonyms
 and personal life.
For example
Linking Words
, they can turn off
work
Use synonyms
 notifications after office hours or schedule specific times for relaxation and family activities. On the employer side, companies should promote a healthy
work
Use synonyms
-life balance by offering flexible working hours or allowing remote
work
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
organizing
Change the spelling
organising
show examples
 team-building or mental health programs can help employees relieve stress and improve productivity. In conclusion, the main causes of
work
Use synonyms
-life imbalance are heavy workloads and increasing job competition.
However
Linking Words
, by adopting effective time management strategies and encouraging supportive workplace policies, both
individuals
Use synonyms
 and employers can create a more balanced and healthier lifestyle.

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language
Check grammar and form. Fix small errors like 'find it challenging' and 'companies'. Use simple, clear sentences.
coherence
Make causes and effects easy to follow. Put one idea per line and link them with 'and' or 'also'.
content
Add a real or clear example to back each point, even if it is short.
style
Keep sentences short and use one idea per sentence for easy reading.
planning
Plan your writing before you start. Make a short plan with causes and then solutions.
structure
Clear structure with an intro, two body parts and a conclusion.
style
Use of linking words like for instance and in addition.
content
The essay shows a fair view by mentioning both staff and employer actions.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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