Nowadays , many people are spending less and less time at home , What are the causes of it? What are the effects of this on individuals as well as on the society?

#people #time #home #effects #individuals #society

In recent years, many

people

are spending more time outsides. We can see that

Change preposition

apply

show examples

nowadays, many individuals do not enjoy staying at home much like many decades or even centuries ago. We can see that in current days, large groups of

people

are going outside for traveling somewhere

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

or hanging out with friends to go to movie theatres

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

or shopping malls. In the next paragraph, we will discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

that is

the reasons of significant groups of

people

are not staying inside their houses like before. One of the most important factors is urbanization. Urbanization indeed contributed to the changes in society, the way that it contributed to society shifts is that they have more places for entertainment, which makes many

people

enjoy spending more time outsides. The places for entertainment included pubs, bars, shopping malls, cinemas, beaches, mountains, and shopping malls. The significant effect of each person and society of becoming more outside is that

people

become more social and experience

an outsides

Correct the article-noun agreement

outsides

an outside

show examples

the environment, which is a relatively positive thing.

Submitted by ikq7068 on Fri Jul 21 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

173 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
The number of people who are at the risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What are the reasons for growth in the overweight people in the society. How can this problem be solved.
In recent years, there has been an increasing number of people that have overweight issues, due to the fact that there are more and more fast food restaurants providing junk food to the public. In order to tackle the problem, the government can organize various activities to encourage people to work out more.
6
band
You ordered a new cheque book from your bank two weeks ago but you have received nothing. Write a letter to the manager complaining about the bad service. Say when and how you ordered the cheque book. Ask how much longer you will have to wait and ask the manager what action he will take over this matter. You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write your own address. Begin your letter as follows:
I hope this email finds you in good health. I am writing this letter to express my concerns about the bad services that I have received from your prominent bank regarding a new chequebook.
<4
band
In many countries, people now wear western clothes (suits, jeans) rather than the traditional clothing. Why? (Reasons and relevant examples) Is this a positive or negative development?
every country has its own uniqueness and distinct features implemented in their lifestyles. we can view these diversity by looking at their fashion sense, creativity, and national habits that are shown in their daily lives. however, as time goes on, globalization take place bringing on the midst of the modern customs of the western countries. the increasing numbers of people throughout the world that dresses up according to the laws of the western lands have without doubt, distinguished the facts that by the running time, their traditional cultures can be put into the risk of extinction. personally, i agree with the latter. in this essay, i would like to elaborate by opinions regarding why i chose this as a negative development.
6.5
band
Education, from preschool through university, should be paid for by the government and therefore free to students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, the emergence of student financial aid is singled out as a concern preoccupying many governments. It is irrefutable that fee abolition may have far-fetching implications to avert economic collapse, however, I partly oppose this view since its drawbacks can overshadow the redeeming features.
8
band
In today's world, the spread of computer use has changed our way of living so that people can buy many things through the Internet. Discuss some advantages and disadvantages of Internet shopping.
Life with the development of the technology allowed people to buy what they want online. However, despite the various kinds of positives of Internet shopping, it has some negatives as well.

Nowadays , many people are spending less and less time at home , What are the causes of it? What are the effects of this on individuals as well as on the society?

Include an introduction and conclusion

The number of people who are at the risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What are the reasons for growth in the overweight people in the society. How can this problem be solved.

In many countries, people now wear western clothes (suits, jeans) rather than the traditional clothing. Why? (Reasons and relevant examples) Is this a positive or negative development?

Education, from preschool through university, should be paid for by the government and therefore free to students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today's world, the spread of computer use has changed our way of living so that people can buy many things through the Internet. Discuss some advantages and disadvantages of Internet shopping.