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Band 7

the chart showed the information about the various professtions in the UK and their salaries. The table show the average working hours per week for each professions

the chart showed the information about the various professtions in the UK and their salaries. The table show the average working hours per week for each professions
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The bar chart illustrates the number of initial salaries and salaries after
three
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 in the five jobs in the UK, and the table indicates the average working time in
hours
Use synonyms
 per week for those five experts.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there was not much increase in incomes during the
three
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 for all five occupations.
Also
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that teachers and firefighters work most compared to the other
three
Use synonyms
 jobs. Looking at the bar chart more closely, one can see that underground drivers earned the largest amount of money at just under 50,000 pounds in the beginning year and slightly more than it after
three
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
, followed by firefighters at around 40,000 pounds. The number of salaries made by teachers was similar to those policies and nurses combined, at approximately 30,000 pounds in both
years
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the table, teachers and firefighters worked the longest by 55
hours
Use synonyms
 per week,
while
Linking Words
 police did their job for 40
hours
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 on average. Meanwhile, working
hours
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 for nurses and underground drivers are quite similar at 38 and 36
hours
Use synonyms
, respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words three, years, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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