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Band 5

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#new #technologies #children #time
As technologies
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 great role in human life. Nowadays,
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
children spend their free
time
 in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
indoor
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
. It
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 both sides advantages
as well as
 disadvantage. More information about
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 and disadvantages are discussed below.
Firstly
, in
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
 days a kids need to spend their free
time
 in outdoor
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 and sports.
For example
, in
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
time
publice
Correct your spelling
public
use
Replace the word
used
show examples
 to
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
time
 in sports which
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 good for their body.
Hence
, the ways have
change
Change the verb form
changed
show examples
 in spending free
time
.
As in
Change preposition
In
show examples
 past
days
Add a comma
,days
show examples
 there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 technologies
due to
 which a child
use
Change the form of the verb
used
show examples
 to have learning options. So, both
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 good
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 ways.
Secondly
, in
todays
Change noun form
today's
show examples
time
 a kids spent
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 free
time
 in
such
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 like playing video games, doing indoor activities and much more.
However
, as
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
technologies have
increase
Change the verb form
increased
show examples
 in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
population life,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people learn new things from it which is useful to both
nation
Change to a plural noun
nations
show examples
as well as
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
people.
Thus
, if a population spent
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the phone is good.
Thirdly
, as a group spent less
time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a sports
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 that will
affact
Correct your spelling
affect
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 body and health.
For example
, as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nowadays groups
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
spent their
time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the phone
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 body
movments
Correct your spelling
movements
movement
. In conclusion, in
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
time
 community benefit there
time
 for sport but now they spent for learning new things. As
discuss
Change the form of the verb
discussed
show examples
 in
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
paragrapy
Correct your spelling
paragraph
 about
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 and
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
. There are more benefits. So it can be said that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 outweigh the disadvantage.
Submitted by purvametaliya99  on

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Your opinion

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