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Band 2.5

In today 's world private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research.Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#world #companies #government #conduct #research
In the contemporary era, private organisations conduct scientific
research
instead
 of government institutions.
Although
,many may see it as a positive phenomenon
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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it is not a trend without drawbacks.Both the benefits and darker side of
this
existance
Correct your spelling
existence
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 be discussed in the subsequent paragraphs. To commence with,there are many benefits of
this
 trend.
The first
Correct article usage
First
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 and foremost
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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,private companies are
couducting
Correct your spelling
conducting
research
 which leads to more productivity and efficiency at work.The private institution
provide
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provides
show examples
 all the necessary machines and tools which are required in the
research
 work.Another advantage is,
when
Correct word choice
that when
show examples
research
 is conducted by private companies,the high authorities can focus on more pressing issues like poverty and unemployment.
Moreover
,the state
have
Change the verb form
has
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 limited resources and if they have to spend a chunk of that on
research
,they will not have much money to spend in other areas.To illustrate,when they spend 100 crores on
research
 they lack the amount to
be spend
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be spent
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 in other fields. On the paradoxical side,
this
existance
Correct your spelling
existence
 has certain negative shades.The main purpose of private companies is to increase their profits
while
 performing any activity.They conduct the
research
 for their benefit.They will not sell their information and keep it secret.To cite an example,when they
make
Verb problem
do
show examples
research
 on a particular new product,after completing the
research
 and
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
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 successful in it,they keep the product invention information a secret so that any other company can not sell the same product.
Furthermore
,

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay by arranging ideas in a more coherent and cohesive manner. Provide a clear introduction and conclusion to frame the essay effectively.
task response
The essay mostly addresses the prompt but lacks depth in discussing the advantages and disadvantages of private companies conducting scientific research. Provide more comprehensive and relevant examples to support the points made.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific research
  • private sector
  • government funding
  • technological innovation
  • competitive nature
  • profitable outcomes
  • conflict of interest
  • corporate bias
  • economic stimulation
  • public interest
  • non-profitable
  • public welfare
  • commercial applications
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