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Writing Samples
Band 7

The two maps below show changes to the town of Somerville over a 10-year period.

The two maps below show changes to the town of Somerville over a 10-year period.
#two #maps #show #changes #town #somerville #-year #period
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The diagrams displayed illustrate the developments made to the town of Somerville over a decade. In general, it is evident that numerous alterations were made to the space, some of which are significant variances, and others which are
much needed
Add a hyphen
much-needed
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 demolitions.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, positive additions of
building
Correct article usage
the building
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 highly elevated the town. The most striking feature would undoubtedly be the recent, turning main
road
Use synonyms
, which was previously straight. Precisely, the
road
Use synonyms
 leads directly into the car park.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is quite difficult to miss the newly developed footpath surrounding the vast plot of land in which buildings of all purposes were installed. On the other side, a spacious triangular-shaped golf course provides inhabitants with the opportunity to easily reach it, with one
road
Use synonyms
 in the way. Contrary to the present, the original map of Somerville contained two parking areas.
However
Linking Words
, the first one was taken down to make space for the new structures. The said structures include
side by side
Add a hyphen
side-by-side
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 twin hotels.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a restaurant stacks upon the café right below the residential towers. Other than that,
two
Correct article usage
the two
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 stores are separated by
the
Correct article usage
a
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 long sidewalk.
Finally
Linking Words
, on the very south of the diagram, a bookstore is positioned where the
road
Use synonyms
 used to lead a decade ago.
Submitted by leensarar on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words road with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Town
  • Changes
  • Ten-year period
  • Maps
  • Introduction
  • General description
  • Comparison
  • Specific areas
  • Development
  • Conclusion
  • Urbanization
  • Expansion
  • Infrastructure
  • Residential
  • Commercial
  • Public facilities
  • Roads
  • Green spaces
  • Population growth
  • Transportation
  • Aesthetic
  • Proximity
  • Accessibility
  • Modernization
  • Renovation
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