Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #phones #places #libraries #shops #transport

There is an argument suggesting the prohibition of cell

phones

in public

places

. In

this

essay, I will argue that it is not reasonable to

stricktly

Correct your spelling

strictly

limit mobile

phones

in these

places

as the majority of individuals are dependent on their cells for working or personal reasons, and

further

, banning mobiles or other modern gadgets would strip public

places

of their significant capabilities. One reason for my disagreement with prohibiting

smart

Correct your spelling

smartphones

show examples

phones

in public venues is that most people are required by their professions to be easily reachable at any time on their

phones

For instance

, Doctors, Lawyers, and Policemen are merely a few of

all

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

jobs that should be available during the day.

This

ban could complicate situations for them since

accessablility

Correct your spelling

accessibility

is essential for their careers.

Hence

, regulating the use of

phones

in communal venues can impact the jobs of many individuals.

Moreover

, if

smart

Correct your spelling

smartphones

show examples

phones

were to be

stricktly

Correct your spelling

strictly

prevented in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society, their significantly beneficial functionality would be neglected.

This

is because

Add the comma(s)

, in

show examples

spite of their regular application being for things

such

as web surfing or playing games, these gadgets have

immence

Correct your spelling

immense

capabilities to enhance

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public

places

. Transportation,

for example

, can be improved by the use of these tools so that passengers can be aware of the arrival and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

departure

scheduals

Correct your spelling

schedules

schedule

in advance in order to prevent the overcrowding in

transportation

Add an article

the transportation

a transportation

show examples

system.

By contrast

, neglecting their benefits for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society would result in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public issues

remain

Wrong verb form

remaining

show examples

unresolved. In conclusion, I would argue that mobile

phones

ought to be left unregulated in public venues on the grounds that

this

ban will make

situation

Add an article

the situation

show examples

uncomfortable for most public users because they are bound by their profession to leave their

phones

available during the day, and

furthermore

this

ban can result in the benefits of mobile

phones

for public

places

being overlooked.

Submitted by sajadtorab on Fri Jul 21 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the main idea of each paragraph is clearly linked to the overall argument of the essay.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion need to be stronger and more effective in summarizing the main points of the essay.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your ideas and arguments throughout the essay.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

306 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Distraction
Etiquette
Tranquility
Prohibit
Intrusive
Courtesy
Essential communication
Public decorum
Designated areas
Safety concerns
Noise pollution
Digital etiquette
Enforcement measures
Civic responsibility
Silent mode
Connectivity
Invasiveness
Social norms
Policy implementation
Moderation

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Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?

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What are the advantages and disadvantages of watching television?

In some countries young people are not only richer, but also safer and healthier than ever before. However, they are often less happy. What do you think are the reasons for this and what can be done to help?