Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subject, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that subjects
as
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such as
show examples
music, art and drama must be considered as other topics
at
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in
show examples
elementary schools. I completely disagree with
this
notion because children in
this
age must learn
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
know-how.
Subject
Change the noun form
Subjects
show examples
like music, drama and art are not as substantial as other fields. Pupils in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
educational
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
must learn basic
skills
such
as maths,
literiture
Correct your spelling
literature
and
sciense
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science
. Learning how to play musical
insrtuments
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instruments
are
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is
show examples
usually hard and challenging so it would be definitely better and
achieveable
Correct your spelling
achievable
to learn these kinds of
skills
for adolescents and young people. Despite basic
skills
being important,
decision makers
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decision-makers
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
educational
Add an article
the educational
an educational
show examples
system should put other activities on students'
schedual
Correct your spelling
schedule
. Spending a huge amount of time on activities
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
art, music or drama would not be vital.
Furthermore
, only the least amount of time in elementary
schoolers
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schoolers'
schooler's
show examples
curriculum is enough.
Although
these fields lead to boosting creativity in these groups, just once or twice in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
time-table
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timetable
show examples
will be
astounishing
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astonishing
.
However
, these individuals who want to learn cultural topics like these
,
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apply
show examples
will be able to follow their interests in higher levels of education. At universities or
colleges
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,colleges
show examples
they have the
abilities
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ability
show examples
to get these
skills
briskly and
spceificly
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specifically
specific
. In conclusion,
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
matters for being an
amatour
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amateur
actor,
artisit
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artist
or a musician is not necessary in the first years of education,
in addition
, every-single child must study more important lessons.
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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