IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some places, young people find it difficult to communicate with older people. Why is this? What are the solutions?

#places #people
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In
4.0
Correct article usage
the 4.0
show examples
 era , communication is considered by many to be one of a person's skills because it involves conveying and building relationships with others.
However
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 known that younger
people
Use synonyms
 often struggle when communicating with the elderly. The reason is the generation
gap
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 can be resolved by finding ways to break
this
Linking Words
gap
Use synonyms
 and make
people
Use synonyms
 closer. Nowadays, the
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
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 population is increasing and young
people
Use synonyms
 are decreasing. It is the reason for a large generation
gap
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.it is not only a generation
gap
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 a distinct in way of mindset , it makes youngsters who are not really
to
Correct word choice
able to
show examples
 connect with old
people
Use synonyms
.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
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 that ,some older
people
Use synonyms
can
Verb problem
do
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 not wanna to communicate with
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
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due to
Linking Words
 their relative lack of experience, which
further
Linking Words
 makes young
people
Use synonyms
 confused and clueless when trying to approach older
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
 , In VietNam, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a lot of older
people
Use synonyms
 who always feel uninterested in talking to younger
people
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.
Although
Linking Words
 some
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
really want to connect with
people
Use synonyms
 of previous generations , and they can build a good relationship with them.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the government is able to run a public awareness campaign to emphasize
to
Change preposition
that
show examples
 younger
people
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 connect with older
people
Use synonyms
 to learn experiences and life skills.
In addition
Linking Words
 ,the authority
manage
Change the verb form
manages
show examples
 to provide subsidies and incentives
such
Linking Words
 as scholarships to encourage intergenerational connections and support volunteers in taking care of the elderly.
For instance
Linking Words
 , In America ,they are able to build and organize programs to bring
people
Use synonyms
 together to learn and grow together.
Althought
Correct your spelling
Although
 it depends on individual responsibility and mindset, No matter how much propaganda is done, young and old
people
Use synonyms
 still maintain the mindset of not wanting to connect with each other, so there is nothing . In conclusion, it can be said that finding serviceable ways to
paring
Wrong verb form
pare
show examples
 down the generational chasm will help younger
people
Use synonyms
 to fathom how to better communicate with their elders.
Submitted by sinh.ielts on

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coherence cohesion
Expand on the reasons behind the generation gap and provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Include a more explicit conclusion that summarizes your main points and offers a clear solution.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the overall quality of your essay.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological proficiency
  • communication gap
  • digital tools
  • worldviews
  • common ground
  • contemporary slang
  • informal language
  • misunderstandings
  • social hierarchy
  • cultural norms
  • stereotypes
  • prejudices
  • open communication
  • out of touch
  • inexperienced
  • effective communication
  • intergenerational programs
  • cross-generational activities
  • mutual respect
  • active listening
What to do next:
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