Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this notion.

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Some

people

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opine that

music

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is an excellent source which helps to fetch human beings, who belong to other traditions and duration. I strongly agree with

this

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perspective.

This

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essay will elaborate on opinions in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, individuals easily get attracted towards other rituals with the help of melody. Every religions have its own ancient

music

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therefore

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people

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from different community are always eager to know more about the source of the sound.

For instance

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, foreign visitors are very popular in India, the reason behind

that is

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Indian

music

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which is world widely famous.

Thus

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, distances between humanity are getting faded

day

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day

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Moreover

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, musical concerts are very famous nowadays.

People

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spend a handsome amount to attend those events.

For example

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, a musical night that was recently conducted in Brampton by Punjabi singers was legendary. Thousands of

people

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who hail from other cultures wore punjabi traditional dresses to attend the ceremony.

Hence

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, it is proved that citizens follow

music

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from the depth of their hearts.

On the other hand

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, the new generation forgets their traditional values and follows others as per their taste of the

music

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. Stability is becoming down

day

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day

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. They should focus on their culture

along with

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their affectionate things. To summarise, Some drawbacks can force us to think about

this

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tradition. But

this

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change is necessary for every individual.

harpreet291kaurFri Jul 21 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

229 words

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this notion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Detailed descriptions of crimes on newspaper and TV can have bad consequences on society, so this kind of information should be restricted on media. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct, there is no reason why people should try to prevent this from extintion.