in many countries the law says that youngster must attend school or college until they become 18 what are advantages or disadvantages.

It is an irrefutable fact that in a large number of ,countries the government think that juveniles must attend school at the age of 18 .
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
many may see it as a positive phenomenon it is not a trend without drawbacks.Both the benefits and darker side of
this
existence
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
be discussed in the subsequent paragraphs. To commence with,there are many benefits of
this
trend.First and foremost is that they have less burden of the studies.They can enjoy their childhood in the proper manner.They can develop their sports skills
as well as
become aware of their other talents.To illustrate,when they do not have the burden to study they can focus on their other skills so that they can
also
make their career in other fields.Another advantage,they prefer to attend online
classes
by which they become aware of the latest technology.They gain information about different apps which are useful for the younger generation.
On the contrary
,
this
trend has certain negative shades.In the modern era, most of the students do not attend proper
classes
and
this
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
a bad impact on their learning patterns.They learn many things during school hours.To cite an example,they prefer to attend online
classes
by which they do not focus on their studies and play video games
while
attending
classes
.
Furthermore
,juveniles are unable to do their knowledge by not attending proper
classes
.They have to face a lot of problems in the future.They can not achieve their goals in life.
To conclude
,by not going to school the children have less burden of
doing
Verb problem
studying
show examples
study and they become aware of new technology by attending online
classes
.It
also
bad impact on their learning pattern.
Moreover
,they are unable to achieve their goals in life.It
is required
Wrong verb form
requires
show examples
a logical, rational and balanced approach towards it.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure and coherence. The introduction and conclusion need improvement, and the main points lack sufficient development.
task achievement
The essay partially responds to the task, but it lacks depth and clarity of ideas. There are relevant examples, but they need better organization and development.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
What to do next:
Look at other essays: