In many societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare.
One of the main themes today is about supporting old
people
by
health care services.Now our society thinks Change preposition
with
how
Change preposition
about how
government
can ensure elderly men and women Correct article usage
the government
to
care Fix the infinitive
apply
their
health, but their number increases every day and Change preposition
for their
this
task becomes harder respectively
.As I think, it is mentioned Rephrase
apply
to
the general standard of living.We will be able to give treatment to everyoneChange preposition
in
,
if Remove the comma
apply
medicine
becomes more accessible for all groups of society.So, it can be difficult to make their life easier after ten years at least.
Firstly
, it is clear that
medicine
isn't
free.In our country
is costs very expensive.Moreover
, retired old people
can't
allow themself big spends of money, if they live alone.For example
, in Mangystau
region twenty Correct article usage
the Mangystau
percent
of all pensioners live in poverty because of low social security.Even the Change the spelling
per cent
insurence
can'Correct your spelling
insurance
t
give a
chance to get Correct pronoun usage
them a
a
good treatment.
Remove the article
apply
Secondly
, it is appears
to be true that Change the verb form
appears
government
doesn'Correct article usage
the government
t
try to develop the sector of medicine
.It might be the result of massive corruption or something like that.However
, at
Change preposition
in
last
thirty Correct article usage
the last
years
there Add a comma
years,
weren'
Verb problem
haven't
t
made
any significant Verb problem
been
changing
or Fix the agreement mistake
changes
addings
to reform Correct your spelling
additions
the
Correct article usage
apply
medicine
in our country
.All we have now is the legacy, which was given by country
of soviets
.Wherever you go, you will see hospitals, Capitalize word
Soviets
clinics
which were built in Correct word choice
and clinics
Add an article
the socialistic
socialistic
era.We Replace the word
socialist
didn'
Verb problem
haven't
t
make
any innovations since Wrong verb form
made
taking
Verb problem
gaining
the
independence.
In conclusion, taking all Correct article usage
apply
mentioned
arguments, facts and examples, we can say that our Correct article usage
the mentioned
country
needs very large changes, which can be made by large-scale reforms.Elderly people
today aren't
protected by society,
until we don'Remove the comma
apply
t
start to look at all people
equally and provide them with enough medical equipments
, devices and other.Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
Submitted by dnm.best on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Your essay shows some issues with task response. Make sure to address all aspects of the task prompt clearly and thoroughly in your essay.
coherence cohesion
The coherence and cohesion of your essay could be improved. Ensure that your ideas are logically organized and connected throughout the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?