IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare.

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One of the main themes today is about supporting old
people
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 health care services.Now our society thinks
how
Change preposition
about how
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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 can ensure elderly men and women
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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care
their
Change preposition
for their
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 health, but their number increases every day and
this
Linking Words
 task becomes harder
respectively
Rephrase
apply
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.As I think, it is mentioned
to
Change preposition
in
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 the general standard of living.We will be able to give treatment to everyone
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 if
medicine
Use synonyms
 becomes more accessible for all groups of society.So, it can be difficult to make their life easier after ten years at least.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
medicine
Use synonyms
 isn'
t
Use synonyms
 free.In our
country
Use synonyms
 is costs very expensive.
Moreover
Linking Words
, retired old
people
Use synonyms
 can'
t
Use synonyms
 allow themself big spends of money, if they live alone.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Mangystau
Correct article usage
the Mangystau
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 region twenty
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of all pensioners live in poverty because of low social security.Even the
insurence
Correct your spelling
insurance
 can'
t
Use synonyms
 give
a
Correct pronoun usage
them a
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chance to get
a
Remove the article
apply
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good treatment.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it
is appears
Change the verb form
appears
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 to be true that
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 doesn'
t
Use synonyms
 try to develop the sector of
medicine
Use synonyms
.It might be the result of massive corruption or something like that.
However
Linking Words
,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 thirty
years
Add a comma
years,
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 there
weren'
Verb problem
haven't
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t
Use synonyms
made
Verb problem
been
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 any significant
changing
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
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 or
addings
Correct your spelling
additions
 to reform
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medicine
Use synonyms
 in our
country
Use synonyms
.All we have now is the legacy, which was given by
country
Use synonyms
 of
soviets
Capitalize word
Soviets
show examples
.Wherever you go, you will see hospitals,
clinics
Correct word choice
and clinics
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 which were built in
Add an article
the socialistic
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socialistic
Replace the word
socialist
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 era.We
didn'
Verb problem
haven't
show examples
t
Use synonyms
make
Wrong verb form
made
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 any innovations since
taking
Verb problem
gaining
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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independence. In conclusion, taking all
mentioned
Correct article usage
the mentioned
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 arguments, facts and examples, we can say that our
country
Use synonyms
 needs very large changes, which can be made by large-scale reforms.Elderly
people
Use synonyms
 today aren'
t
Use synonyms
 protected by society
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 until we don'
t
Use synonyms
 start to look at all
people
Use synonyms
 equally and provide them with enough medical
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
, devices and other.

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task response
Your essay shows some issues with task response. Make sure to address all aspects of the task prompt clearly and thoroughly in your essay.
coherence cohesion
The coherence and cohesion of your essay could be improved. Ensure that your ideas are logically organized and connected throughout the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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