Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #governments #ban #sports #freedom #activity

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It is considered by

some

Capitalize word

Some

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that those kinds of

sports

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which could hurt

people

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should not be allowed to take

Correct article usage

apply

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place,

while

Linking Words

some may view

Correct your spelling

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that

people

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are free enough to choose any

sports

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they prefer. In my opinion, I believe that adults could make their own decision about what kind of interest to choose and they are responsible for their decisions;

however

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, dangerous kinds of sport could seriously damage society. On the one hand, it is scientifically proven that any kinds of physical

activities

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activity

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release stress.

In other words

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then

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more activities are dynamic

then

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more stress is released. Highly impulsive

people

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, mostly males having high testosterone levels in

blood

Correct pronoun usage

their blood

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could decrease the flash of violence only by doing extreme

sports

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. In some particular cases jogging or yoga are not able to help.

This

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is one of the reasons

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for

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being interested in dangerous activities.

As a result

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, there are less domestic violence, office conflicts and toxic relationships.

On the other hand

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, extreme

sports

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could seriously harm young

people

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. Usually, extreme

sports

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are popular

between

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among

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teenagers as during that period

people

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are seeking different new adventures

expressing

Correct word choice

and expressing

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new emotions and positive feelings. Young

people

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do not understand fully the responsibility for their lives and others. As an example,

such

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platforms as Facebook, Instagram and Tik Tok

showing

Wrong verb form

show

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various

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apply

show examples

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

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done by professionals.

However

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, teenagers are not able to understand the difference between

experienced

Correct article usage

an experienced

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and

usual

Correct article usage

a usual

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person. They try to imitate performances and end up

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apply

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terribly injuring themselves. In conclusion, in my opinion, today we live in times of full freedom and are able to choose any hobby we are interested in.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

the

Correct word choice

if the

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government does not ban dangerous

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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society cannot handle the problem alone of teenagers’

reckless

Replace the word

recklessness

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Submitted by s_syedy on Sat Jul 22 2023

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

severe injuries
fatalities
base jumping
bull running
extreme skiing
safeguard
well-being
regulating
avoidable harm
healthcare costs
burdening
personal freedom
autonomy
training
equipment
mitigated
personal satisfaction
mental health benefits
resilience
adventure
assess risks
public safety
unnecessary healthcare costs
outright bans
balanced approach
stringent safety standards
mandatory training sessions
adequately informed
safeguarding
public health

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