Nowadays, some people believe that fashion is very important for youngsters and it has a negative impact on people and society. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#people #fashion #youngsters #impact #society

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Nowadays, the abrupt emergence of young fashion slaves is singled out as a nagging concern preoccupying many governments. It is irrefutable that the relentless pursuit of trendy infatuation may insidiously erode either the garment industry or personal life,

however

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, I oppose

this

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conservative viewpoint

due to

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its far-fetching implication on a societal scale.

Firstly

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, consumerism in the apparel industry should be triggered in the face of averting an economic collapse.

For instance

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, since garment corporations have contributed to the stronghold of domestic revenue in developed countries

such

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as the United States or Canada, shopping addiction is beneficial to reinforce a country's financial status.

Consequently

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, if the governments exert leverage over the populace by imposing a curb on their charge, a country cannot fortify itself against potential crises.

Hence

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, a multipronged educational approach, aimed at installing a healthy tendency of purchasing in the public, should be conducted rather than imposing a bleak outlook on the cloth-consuming practice of younglings.

Secondly

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, shopaholic is the victim of their deeds. Since shopping binges derive from social turbulence and mental dissatisfaction, it is not to be blamed as the root of a whole host of issues. Thanks to the proliferation of marketing campaigns, which is in parallel with marketing fraud, young urban citizens gravitate towards splurging on trendy items to relieve themselves from daily burdens, as a transient pleasure. Retail therapy undoubtedly acts as a period of respite amid the treadmill of the workplace,

while

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also

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alleviating external pressures faced by individuals. In conclusion, reflecting the intangible benefits of overspending on economic conditions and its mental palliative in the long run, possible drawbacks may be overshadowed. Without

this

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trend of purchasing, mass production would be left with the legacy of incompetence.

Submitted by ngocnong.work on Sat Jul 22 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Nowadays, some people believe that fashion is very important for youngsters and it has a negative impact on people and society. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

These days people spend more and more time at work and less time at home. What are advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some people dislike change in their sociality and their own lives and want things to stay the same. *why do some people want things to say the same? *why should change be regarded as something positive?

In some countries, an increasing number of children are overweight or obese as a result of eating too much fast food. Banning fast food from school canteens is the best way to fight this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

Some people dislike change in their sociality and their own lives and want things to stay the same. why do some people want things to say the same? why should change be regarded as something positive?