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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that education in all its stages should be free to everyone, while others think that university education should be paid for by the people who want it. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

#people #education #stages #university #points
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In today’s increasingly competitive world, it is essential that everyone has an equal opportunity to obtain an adequate
education
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. If people are excluded from higher
education
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 because they cannot afford the
fees
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, not only they and their families but
also
Linking Words
 their society will be poorer
as a result
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that
education
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 should be free for those individuals who are unable to pay for reasons of poverty.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 throughout the world increasing numbers of people are attending
university
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, and that
this
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 has become a vital part of any individual's
education
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. If people are deprived of a tertiary
education
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 for reasons of poverty,
this
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 will have a seriously detrimental impact on their future lives.
For example
Linking Words
, someone who does not attend
university
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, because they cannot afford the
fees
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, will be very unlikely to get a good job in future.
Consequently
Linking Words
, governments and organizations should offer scholarships to deserving
students
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, in order to prevent the inability to pay from depriving them of higher
education
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the rapid
expansion
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 of
university
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education
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 in many countries has been funded by the
fees
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 that
students
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 pay, at least in part. If governments had to find the extra money required to pay the
fees
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 of poorer citizens,
this
Linking Words
 would slow down the process of
expansion
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 and deprive other
students
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 of places at
university
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.
For example
Linking Words
, every time that the government had to divert funds from
university
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expansion
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 to paying for current
students
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,
this
Linking Words
 would prevent another
university
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 place being offered
elsewhere
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.
As a result
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, funding for poorer individuals should not be allowed to prevent the nation as a whole from benefiting from increased numbers of
students
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 attending higher
education
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. All countries around the world see it as their goal to offer the maximum number of individuals the opportunities to study at the highest possible level.
Although
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 funding poorer
students
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 might deprive the
education
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 system as a whole of funds for
expansion
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, I believe that in any fair and civilized society, free
education
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 should be offered at all levels and that poverty should not be a bar to a
university
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 place.
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task achievement
Ensure that your essay maintains a clear position throughout the response, which is consistent with the conventions of an opinion essay. Avoid neutral or wavering language unless when discussing contrasting viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has an adequate logical structure, enhancing transitional phrases and using a wider variety of them could improve the readability and flow of your essay.
task achievement
The main points in your essay are supported, but deepening the analysis with more detailed examples could strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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