IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many People Work Long Hours, Leaving Very Little Time For Leisure Activities

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities
To be honest,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
people
 would prefer to work their
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
time
, Related to their field and for their act, It remains short
time
. There are plus and minuses of both views. But, they
also
 must
rest
 without opting to work hard. Currently, many
people
 want to go
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 working place and stay there long.
In addition
, For
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 extra
time
 do not act much. There are some plus sides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the initial idea.
Firstly
,
People
 can get extra payment, if they come to their working place on a daily basis.
Secondly
, The more working, The more their career increase. If they perform their function well,
people
 will respect them.
Thus
, for herself or himself, he or she can create
Correct article usage
a magnificient
show examples
magnificient
Correct your spelling
magnificent
, new life by employing a lot.
For instance
, Doctor Gulnoz do rules as always. Presently, her career
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 grown considerably. Going back to the second opinion,
Although
, For spare action, It is not paid, But, they are able to have
rest
,
wih
Correct your spelling
with
 getting
rest
, they manage to
gether
Correct your spelling
gather
get her
 strength. After
fulling
Correct your spelling
filling
show examples
 in
this
, they cope with everything
according to
 their job.
People
 can not carry out
this
 task, it affects
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their health.
Together with
this
, These things cause
to
Correct pronoun usage
you to
show examples
 have a headache or other types of
illnessess
Correct your spelling
illnesses
.
Such
 as, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
big places, it is exampled working
people
. They are working
Change preposition
in bank
show examples
bank
Fix the agreement mistake
banks
show examples
, being
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
,
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 and so on In conclusion, without free
time
 or
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rest
,
people
 can not be healthy. So, as much as possible, they need to pick out spare
time
 to perform activities
Submitted by sarvinozjumayeva813 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: