IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane
#process #sugar #cane
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The diagram below
demonstrate
Change the verb form
demonstrates
show examples
 the manufacturing process with
sugar
Use synonyms
 cane for producing the
sugar
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
manufacturing
Correct article usage
the manufacturing
show examples
sugar
Use synonyms
 process requires 7 difficult steps with the modern world's technology the tractors for cutting canes and addition by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human activities.In
Linking Words
additionally
Replace the word
addition
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, include crushing, filtering part and centrifuge. On the one hand ,
Linking Words
at
Change preposition
apply
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the first
stage
Use synonyms
 in the manufacturing movement
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
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 by harvesting a number of already for cutting 12 - 18 month grown canes and
this
Linking Words
stage
Use synonyms
 can done
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 two
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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: tractors and influencing human activity.
Next
Correct article usage
The next
show examples
stage
Use synonyms
producing
Change preposition
of producing
show examples
this
Linking Words
 involves the cane
will be
Wrong verb form
being
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 sent to separating to
state
Add an article
the state
a state
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of
Change preposition
apply
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flour and it can be converted to
juice
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , the second step involves purifying the
juice
Use synonyms
 and the
juice
Use synonyms
 passes through
limestone
Correct article usage
a limestone
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 filter.After
that
Add a comma
that,
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 the evaporator barrel filled with purified
juice
Use synonyms
 will be heated at
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 degree until becomes
to
Change preposition
apply
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syrup.
Then
Linking Words
 the centrifuge process can be done
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 separating
sugar
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 crystals from syrup and
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
last
Linking Words
stage
Use synonyms
 the
sugar
Use synonyms
 will be sent for drying and cooling.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, stage, juice with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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