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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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One school of thought holds that people should research their family roots as the best way to create a meaningful study,
whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 others believe that concentrating on the present and later offspring is a better option.
This
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essay attempts to shed light on both perspectives before concluding that I am in favour of the latter notion. On the one hand, some individuals should study their ancestry origin
due to
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 a variety of factors.
First,
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it must be affirmed that each person has his or her roots, a place called hometown, and a reason to be born,
consequently
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 exploration helps them to better understand their origin. It is really practical compared to the studies that are somewhat macroscopic and some of its contents that are vague and unverified.
In addition
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if parents deeply understand ancestry traditions, they will become an encyclopedia helping their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring

It seems that offsprings may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 understand their
ancestor's
Change noun form
ancestors'

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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 origins.
This
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 knowledge, as a historical demonstration of each parentage, is summarized to help their descendants approach as quickly as possible.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, parents can help their sons and daughters understand their ancestor's history through brief stories every night before they
are going
Wrong verb form
go

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb are going. Consider changing it.

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 to bed.
On the other hand
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are a host of compelling reasons why I am convinced that it is more beneficial to focus on succeeding generations. One reason is that children are the future of each parentage, the prosperity or survival of each family depends on their offspring.
Therefore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, parents need plans to orient their children to overcome upcoming difficulties and challenges.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the major Korean Cheabol Groups
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as Samsung, LG, and Hyundai are very focused on training their children to become heirs to the family. Their descendants all go through an extremely harsh training and learning process to have forthcoming success, as Lee Jae-Yong - the current President of Samsung is a typical example. Another reason is that in the macro aspect, descendants are the factors that help their own country develop and compete with other countries,
as a result
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, focusing on their education is more important than anything else. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 it is irrefutable that people could research their roots without any consideration for others, I would contend that it should be limited and focus on the next generations because of their indispensable influences on human's future.

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task response
Task Response: You have presented arguments for both perspectives and have given your opinion. However, ensure that your examples and arguments are directly relevant to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: Your essay is generally well-organized and has a clear introduction and conclusion. Work on providing more specific examples and ensuring that your main points are fully supported with relevant details and explanations.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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