in spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry, why is this the case? what can be done about this problem?

Although
the art of agriculture has advanced nowadays, many individuals around the world suffer from starvation. In my opinion,
this
case has several reasons,
however
, there are some solutions as well. As mentioned, suffering from hunger around the globe
while
agriculture has developed, has several reasons.
Firstly
,
due to
numerous developments in technology and the innovation of new machines in the agricultural industry, many countries cannot afford these kinds of stuff and provide for their citizens’ needs.
Secondly
, some farming products and plants
such
as rice which can easily provide tons of calories and energy by
consuming it
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
, need lots of water and a conditional climate which tons of countries don’t have because of their geographical status.
Finally
, agricultural fields in universities are not so popular to choose among the students.
For instance
, in my country
according to
a survey which was taken from math students in 1000 high schools, just 0.5 percent of students would like to study in agricultural engineering. Well to be honest there is no way which can be done about countries’ climate conditions.
However
, advertising agricultural engineering in universities might be the best way to achieve
this
goal which lead us to more innovations and progress in
this
crucial industry. The other solution is getting help from fields like chemistry and physics to help invent new products which can be grown in several conditions and new machines which are cheaper and available in all countries.
Overall
, as mentioned, there are several reasons why hunger has not disappeared
while
agriculture has made numerous progress in
this
era.
However
, there are tons of solutions for
this
case as well.
Submitted by amirkasrajahanmiri on

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Coherence and Cohesion
You have structured your essay well with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in the logical flow of your ideas. However, to further enhance coherence, linking words can be more effectively utilized to better connect sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
You've done a good job of responding to the task by identifying reasons for the global hunger issue and proposing solutions. To strengthen your essay, ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that signals the main idea, followed by explanations and, where possible, specific examples to support your points. Adding diverse and detailed examples will enhance your essay's persuasiveness and specificity.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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