in spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry, why is this the case? what can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case

Although

the art of agriculture has advanced nowadays, many individuals around the world suffer from starvation. In my opinion,

this

case has several reasons,

however

, there are some solutions as well. As mentioned, suffering from hunger around the globe

while

agriculture has developed, has several reasons.

Firstly

due to

numerous developments in technology and the innovation of new machines in the agricultural industry, many countries cannot afford these kinds of stuff and provide for their citizens’ needs.

Secondly

, some farming products and plants

such

as rice which can easily provide tons of calories and energy by

consuming it

Replace the word

consumption

show examples

, need lots of water and a conditional climate which tons of countries don’t have because of their geographical status.

Finally

, agricultural fields in universities are not so popular to choose among the students.

For instance

, in my country

according to

a survey which was taken from math students in 1000 high schools, just 0.5 percent of students would like to study in agricultural engineering. Well to be honest there is no way which can be done about countries’ climate conditions.

However

, advertising agricultural engineering in universities might be the best way to achieve

this

goal which lead us to more innovations and progress in

this

crucial industry. The other solution is getting help from fields like chemistry and physics to help invent new products which can be grown in several conditions and new machines which are cheaper and available in all countries.

Overall

, as mentioned, there are several reasons why hunger has not disappeared

while

agriculture has made numerous progress in

this

era.

However

, there are tons of solutions for

this

case as well.

Submitted by amirkasrajahanmiri on Mon Feb 12 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion

You have structured your essay well with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in the logical flow of your ideas. However, to further enhance coherence, linking words can be more effectively utilized to better connect sentences and paragraphs.

Task Achievement

You've done a good job of responding to the task by identifying reasons for the global hunger issue and proposing solutions. To strengthen your essay, ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that signals the main idea, followed by explanations and, where possible, specific examples to support your points. Adding diverse and detailed examples will enhance your essay's persuasiveness and specificity.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

inequality
distribution
access to resources
climate change
natural disasters
political factors
economic factors
agricultural practices
infrastructure
transportation
population growth
education
knowledge
food waste

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
It is essential for folks to take risks between work and personal lives. This statement has advantages over disadvantages such as enhancing human self-esteem and personal growth development.
7.5
band
Mobile phones have brought many benefits, but they have also had negative effects. Do the disadvantages of having mobile phones outweigh the advantages?
It is true that mobile phones always influence each individual both positively and negatively. From my perspective, this practice is harmful to a certain extent. The following paragraph will shed light on my viewpoints.
4.5
band
It is important for all the cities and towns to have large outdoor public spaces, such as parks or squares. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Having parks and squares is vital for the individuals who live in cities and towns. I totally agree with this view on the grounds that as such places provide green areas, they are perfect for getting rid of the noisy and stressful city life. Besides, they allow public to do numerous activities.
<4
band
Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
As a developed country, they might be have basic needs such as foods and lands. They also have advanced technology, and rich raw materials where the citizen can live in peace. They actually have a great president or leader who bring them into happily ever after life. But for the other country, it is unlucky for them that they dont have a supportive country for them to stay.
<4
band
Students in school should learn academic subjects and pass exams. Other skill such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork can be learnt well from family and friends. Do you agree or disagree?
An increasing concern for many people around the world is curriculum of the education of the school. While it can be argued that stdents should only learn academic subjects to pass examination, another opinion is that domestic sciences such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork can be learnt from family. In this essay I will examine both sides of the argument and provide my overall opinion.

in spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry, why is this the case? what can be done about this problem?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Mobile phones have brought many benefits, but they have also had negative effects. Do the disadvantages of having mobile phones outweigh the advantages?

It is important for all the cities and towns to have large outdoor public spaces, such as parks or squares. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Students in school should learn academic subjects and pass exams. Other skill such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork can be learnt well from family and friends. Do you agree or disagree?