These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, the number of grown-ups who
leaving
Wrong verb form
leave
show examples
home
gradually
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
.
Althoug
Correct your spelling
Although
leaving
home
has several drawbacks, I firmly believe that relocating to new regions would give significant benefits to
people
.
To begin
with, since the industrial revolution in Europe in 19 century, a lot of
people
have been forced to leave
hometowns
Correct pronoun usage
their hometowns
show examples
where they were born and grew up and relocate to other areas, finding more opportunities to get occupations and a better education. In modern
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
famous companies
as well as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prestigious universities usually tend to locate in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other areas
such
as big cities and overseas.
For example
, in Korea, the
most
Change the adjective
apply
show examples
best universities like
Seoul
National University and Korea University are in
Seoul
.
Also
, Big firms
such
as Samsung Electronics and Hyundai Motors put their main offices in
Seoul
. So.
People
who want to apply
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
hope that they move away from
home
and to
Seoul
in advance. On top of that, leaving
home
enable
people
to meet
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
various culture and have a wide insight. Especially, in
global
Add an article
the global
a global
show examples
era, more and more
people
move overseas with the aim of learning
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
various
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cultures and languages, which becomes a good property
such
various experiences, compare to the experiences which
people
who
staying
Wrong verb form
stay
show examples
home
have.
Further
, Firms having oversea branches tend to prefer
people
who have
experience
Correct your spelling
experienced
show examples
the other area because they think that those
people
would adapt well.
To sum up
,
while
living in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other regions or countries has several disadvantages, moving away from
home
and relocating to other sites has significant benefits like getting more opportunities to outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by dike1221 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • metropolitan
  • migration
  • globalization
  • socio-economic factors
  • traditional norms
  • cosmopolitan environment
  • brain drain
  • assimilation
  • gentrification
  • alienation
  • multiculturalism
  • infrastructure strain
What to do next:
Look at other essays: