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Writing Samples
Band 7

chart below shows numbers of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

chart below shows numbers of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#numbers #adults #sports #area #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates how many grown-ups took part in main sports in one area between 1997 and 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
, Gentle walking was the most popular among major sports in both 1997 and 2017,
while
Linking Words
 playing basketball and cricket were the most unpopular in 1997 and 2017, respectively. Looking at data more closely, one can see that Gentle walking
were
Change the verb form
was
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 the most played, which stood at 50,000
people
Use synonyms
 in 1997 and 55,000
people
Use synonyms
 in 2017. There were no significant changes in Jogging and Gym(aerobic) which remained
stably
Change the word
stable
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 at roughly 33,000 and 35,000
people
Use synonyms
, respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, compared to the numbers in 1997, the
participants
Replace the word
participation
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of
Change preposition
in
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 playing football, hiking and basketball considerably increased in 2017. Football and Hiking showed
the
Correct article usage
apply
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similar patterns
risising
Correct your spelling
rising
 from around 33,000 in 1997 to 48,000 in 2017.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the case of Basketball, the figures of participants
alomost
Correct your spelling
almost
 doubled from 9,000 in 1997 to 22,000, meanwhile, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 playing cricket plummeted from 27,000 in 1997 to 8,000 in 2017.
Submitted by dike1221 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rates
  • adult demographic
  • comparison
  • percent change
  • significant increase/decrease
  • trend analysis
  • sports popularity
  • ranking changes
  • general patterns
  • social factors
  • 20-year period
  • time span
  • major sports
  • data interpretation
  • highlight features
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