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Band 5

Some young people look forward to a year of travelling , a ‘gap year ‘ , before they begin work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others this is an expensive waste of time . Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #year #‘gap #work #university #chance #horizons #waste #time
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In recent years through high
school
Use synonyms
 graduates have become
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 popular trend to take a
gap
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year
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 for
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of continuing proficient education levels directly after
school
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.At the same
time
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, a huge number of people believe that it is just
meaningless
Correct article usage
a meaningless
show examples
 and expensive waste of
time
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. There are several reasons why humans support
this
Linking Words
 idea. First of all ,
journey
Correct article usage
a journey
show examples
 to different parts of the world provide
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 possibility to obtain new skills ,
knowledge
Correct word choice
and knowledge
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 , especially about real everyday life .
Also
Linking Words
 ,
while
Linking Words
 travelling
youngs
Correct your spelling
young
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 may get acquainted with various cultures ,
nations
Correct word choice
and nations
show examples
 and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
realize the essence of people .
Secondly
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 , learning
twelve
Change preposition
for twelve
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 years is
exhausting
Correct article usage
an exhausting
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 occupation , for
that juveniles
Change the determiner
that juvenile
those juveniles
show examples
 should be rewarded and receive quality rest and so a
gap
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year
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 is a great option for
this
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 . A
year
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 of travelling will help graduates gain strength, prevent burnout and go to university or start working full of energy and enthusiasm.
Moreover
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 , almost
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of young individuals are not sure about their future job or work , and
therefore
Linking Words
 ,
while
Linking Words
 a
Use synonyms
year
Change noun form
year's
show examples
 journey after
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school
Add a comma
,school
show examples
 they could choose their
futher
Correct your spelling
further
future
 occupation .
For example
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 read an article , where was written about a girl , who took a
year
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 after graduation . She spent her
time
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 not just travelling , but volunteering around the world .
Thus
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during
Change preposition
over
show examples
 a
year
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 she made a great number of new acquaintances and
finally
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 decided on her profession , which indicates that a
gap
Use synonyms
year
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 went in her
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
.
On the contrary
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 ,
this
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 kind of experience has its own drawbacks.
Firstly
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 , travelling for a
such
Linking Words
 long period requires significant investment .
This
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 means that parents will
to
Add a missing verb
have to
show examples
 pay a huge part of outlays because most students, even if they work , cannot cover all costs from
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
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 income. So it may become
unnecessary
Correct article usage
an unnecessary
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 financial burn for the person’s family.
Secondly
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 , on the one side a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 is a pleasant opportunity for relaxation ,
however
Linking Words
,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 during
this
Linking Words
 period baccalaureate holders can lose any vestige of motivation and become accustomed to an idle life.
To conclude
Linking Words
 , after a long
time
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 of being drowned in
test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
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 and exams , high
school
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 graduates should be given a chance to make
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 independent decision about taking a
gap
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year
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 . From my perspective, despite all the advantages discussed, I tend to believe that it is more beneficial not to take a
gap
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year
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 to preserve money, precious
time
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 and motivation.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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  • take, for example

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