In many families nowadays, both parents work and pay people to look after their children. Some people believe this is not good for families. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#families #parents #work #people #children

It is becoming increasingly common for both

parents

to pay

babysitters

to look after their

children

. Some

people

think that

this

trend will not be good for families. In fact, I strongly agree that it will bring negative effects for two main reasons. The main reason is making the distance between

parents

and

children

. By taking care of the

children

babysitters

can be closer to the

children

. It will make a strong connection between them.

Kids

will feel that they have friends that they can ask anything and share anything.

However

parents

will be the second choice for their own

kids

. For illustration,

kids

will be more open to their babysitter rather than their

parents

As a result

, the bond between

parents

and

children

will be easily broken. The following reason is not safe. Nowadays, many cases of

babysitters

hurt youngsters. It is hard to find a trusted person to look after the youngsters.

However

kids

can feel safer when there are surrounded by

people

that love them purely. A strange person will feel easily hurt when they do the wrong things.

For instance

kids

that do not do the command that aks by

people

that take care of them will get punishments easily. By having punishments day by day,

kids

can feel afraid of doing anything that they want.

Consequently

, the development of the

kids

will be abnormal

To sum up

, an increasing number of

people

paying others to look after their

kids

However

, many

people

argue that it will bring drawbacks to families. I am firmly convinced that it will be not good for

children

handled by the babysitter,

such

as making the relationship between

parents

and

kids

become distant and not safe,

kids

can heart easily by their

babysitters

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Mon Jul 24 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many families nowadays, both parents work and pay people to look after their children. Some people believe this is not good for families. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say the government should not put money into building theaters and sports stadiums, they should spend more money on medical care and education. To what extent do you agree or disagree this opinion?

Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Science will soon make it possible for people to live until 100 years, perhaps even to 200 years. Some people think that this would be a good thing. Others think that it would cause many problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people around the world use social media day to keep in touch with other people and new events. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?