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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many families nowadays, both parents work and pay people to look after their children. Some people believe this is not good for families. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#families #parents #work #people #children
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It is becoming increasingly common for both
parents
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 to pay
babysitters
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 to look after their
children
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. Some
people
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 think that
this
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 trend will not be good for families. In fact, I strongly agree that it will bring negative effects for two main reasons. The main reason is making the distance between
parents
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 and
children
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. By taking care of the
children
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,
babysitters
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 can be closer to the
children
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. It will make a strong connection between them.
Kids
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 will feel that they have friends that they can ask anything and share anything.
However
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,
parents
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 will be the second choice for their own
kids
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. For illustration,
kids
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 will be more open to their babysitter rather than their
parents
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.
As a result
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, the bond between
parents
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 and
children
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 will be easily broken. The following reason is not safe. Nowadays, many cases of
babysitters
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 hurt youngsters. It is hard to find a trusted person to look after the youngsters.
However
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,
kids
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 can feel safer when there are surrounded by
people
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 that love them purely. A strange person will feel easily hurt when they do the wrong things.
For instance
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,
kids
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 that do not do the command that aks by
people
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 that take care of them will get punishments easily. By having punishments day by day,
kids
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 can feel afraid of doing anything that they want.
Consequently
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, the development of the
kids
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 will be abnormal
To sum up
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, an increasing number of
people
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 paying others to look after their
kids
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.
However
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, many
people
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 argue that it will bring drawbacks to families. I am firmly convinced that it will be not good for
children
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 handled by the babysitter,
such
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 as making the relationship between
parents
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 and
kids
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 become distant and not safe,
kids
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 can heart easily by their
babysitters
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.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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