The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The
first
Use synonyms
graph illustrates the percentage of individuals who had three different types of equipment that consumed electricity as their power resources to do their household chores,
while
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the second given chart indicates the amount of
time
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that has been put into accomplishing people’s housework during a week from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
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, at
first
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glance
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,glance
show examples
it is clear that
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throughout
this
Linking Words
time
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frame the figures who owned these three forms of kitchen tools namely washing machines, refrigerators and vacuum cleaners rocketed up
whereas
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during
this
Linking Words
period of
Use synonyms
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
the
number
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of hours that households spent on doing their housework considerably decreased and
this
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downward trend reflects
this
Linking Words
fact that as the amount of buying household goods increases, the
number
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of hours that people spend at home to do their household chores decreases.
According to
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the
first
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chart, over the
first
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80
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years
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,years
show examples
the
number
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of people who bought vacuum cleaners rose significantly from 30% in 1920 to 100% in 2000 and
then
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this
Linking Words
percentage stands at 100% in the next 20
years
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.
Also
Linking Words
, it can be seen that owning a refrigerator experienced a similar trend as the vacuum cleaner
while
Linking Words
about
this
Linking Words
appliance the percentage of families who had it in the
first
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year of
this
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time
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frame was about 0% and
this
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upward trend could reach the peak in 1980
then
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it remained steady.
In addition
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, apart from a fluctuation, the whole
number
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of washing machines which had been purchased increased slightly from 40% in 1920 to about 75% in 2019 over the 100-year period of
time
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. Concerning the amount of
time
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that has been put
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
the fulfilment of houses’ work should be noticed that it has decreased over a
priod
Correct your spelling
period
of 60
years
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from 1920 and over the next 20
years
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it remained relatively unchanged.
Submitted by m.v.g1371 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words first, time, number, years with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • household appliances
  • time-efficient
  • labour-saving devices
  • technological innovations
  • ownership rate
  • housework chores
  • domestic workload
  • automation
  • advancements
  • trend analysis
  • societal shifts
  • economic impact
  • durability
  • lifespan of appliances
  • maintenance
  • historical comparison
  • time allocation
  • drudgery reduction
  • energy consumption
  • disruption in trends
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