IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The top priority of business is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities.To what extent do you agree or disagree

#priority #business #money #responsibilities
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It's agreed that the top priority of businesses is generating profit, and they do not need to have social responsibilities, but some
people
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 argue that.
Therefore
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,I will introduce my idea about two problems in
this
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 essay. On the one hand, many businesses just make
money
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 and they do not have to be responsible for society. Indeed, by producing low-quality
goods
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 and advertising them like good products, they can earn more
money
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instead
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 of being criticised by many consumers ,
this
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 can provide enough
money
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 for them to pay for their staff and materials.
Besides
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, they do not have to support
money
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 for many volunteering campaigns and they can use it for producing many new
goods
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 or give many
people
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 more opportunities to have a job.
On the other hand
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, they should be responsible for society. If they do not do that and produce low-quality
goods
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, many customers will not believe them and do not pay anything for them.
Thus
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, they can get a loss when selling their new products.
Furthermore
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, doing many campaigns serving the community can give
people
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 a good impression so there will be more consumers that are loyal to buy
goods
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 from them. In conclusion, I believe that many companies should not only generate profit but
also
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 take part in many meaningful services like helping poor children living in the mountain. By doing that, they can earn more
money
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as well as
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 they can have strong loyalty from many
people
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.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Corporate social responsibility (CSR)
  • Profitability
  • Ethical practices
  • Economic growth
  • Brand image
  • Consumer backlash
  • Long-term success
  • Sustainability
  • Ethical labor practices
  • Community involvement
  • Legal requirements
  • Compliance policies
  • Innovation
  • Stakeholders
  • Social welfare
What to do next:
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