IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Task 1: The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

Task 1: The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#maps #show #area #town #norbiton #future #development #site #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The maps illustrate information on the changes
happened
Correct pronoun usage
that happened
show examples
 to an industrial
area
Use synonyms
 of a
town
Use synonyms
 called Norbiton after future development.
Overall
Linking Words
, new buildings and
roads
Use synonyms
 are constructed over the period and leaving the river and the
town
Use synonyms
area
Use synonyms
 untouched.
Firstly
Linking Words
, new buildings are created
such
Linking Words
 as
Playground
Correct article usage
a Playground
show examples
area
Use synonyms
, school, shops and medical centre
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the industrial
area
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a factory is
also
Linking Words
 been established in the
north
Replace the word
northern
show examples
area
Use synonyms
. Apart from that an additional small roundabout is
also
Linking Words
 been placed
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the southern part of the
town
Use synonyms
 near the medical centre probably to avoid traffic congestion. To reach the other side of the river which is the farmland, a bridge has been built for the convenience
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the members of the
town
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, to reach certain areas new
roads
Use synonyms
 are constructed
Linking Words
whereas
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
before there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 only two
roads
Use synonyms
 which connected the roundabout, but now three
roads
Use synonyms
 connect the bigger roundabout which connects the smaller roundabout and which is connected to the highway which leads to
town
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Melroy  on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words area, town, roads with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial area
  • planned future development
  • factories
  • warehouses
  • railway line
  • shopping center
  • residential buildings
  • college
  • mixed-use zone
  • commercial
  • residential
  • educational
  • green spaces
  • pedestrian walkways
  • housing
  • community
  • retail services
  • revitalize
  • quality of life
  • vibrant
  • sustainable
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