IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. Discuss advantage and disadvantages to children doing so?

#children #parents #part #time #job #advantage
Parents have been recently more active in encouraging their
children
 to acquire a part-time
job
 in their spare time.
While
 normally, it is not a common thing for
children
, there are both advantages and disadvantages to
this
. For starters, one of the many perks of getting a part-time
job
 as a teen is making money. Even if they are getting paid minimum wage, earning money from their work is an important component in creating a successful bright future, an important first step into the miserable world of adulthood; and they are freely allowed to do whatever they want with said money. Unfortunately, there are some downsides to getting
such
 a
job
. First of all, the list of suitable jobs for teens is very limited, most of them are usually catering jobs like working at a Chuck. E Cheese or working as a local store cashier at a 7-Eleven.
Secondly
, it is mentally demanding; because of the very few
job
 choices listed for teens, most of them require full attentiveness. Which would lead to an incredible amount of stress; and for
children
,
that is
 a devastating toll on their mental health.
For example
, to work at 7-Eleven, they are required to endure a full 8 hours without sleep or slacking off on the
job
. It is best to be sure that your child is ready enough to work in these highly demanding environments. In conclusion, I believe that parents should continue to encourage
children
 to partake in acquiring a part-time
job
,
however
, it should be clear to the
children
 that they need to be ready.
Submitted by havu06 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: