The top priority of businessess is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#priority #businessess #money #responsibilities

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There is a controversy about enterprises' value

generate

Wrong verb form

generating

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profits above social responsibilities. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I strongly disagree with the priority of companies without the duty of public responsibilities. On the one hand, The distribution of money causes these firms to have unphilanthropic actions, which means the corporation will have some effects on the environment, either citizens' lives. Delving into the problem, a strong lucrative field comes with a numerous number of companies, which means each individual

businesses

Fix the agreement mistake

business

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will establish more branches in order to maximize their income.

Due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, the lack of space and trees will happen to be a sequence of disasters,

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

can

referred

Change the verb form

be referred

refer

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to as flood or soil erosion.

For instance

Linking Words

, a company

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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Change preposition

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charge of

developing

Replace the word

development

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will create more opportunities to strengthen their profits by establishing more branches, especially in cities. Trees will be cut off and the frequency of calamity will occur more than usual.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, job opportunities will be narrowed

due to

Linking Words

the limited range of work. If a company create more branches to solidify

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

revenue, none of the other firms will be able to expand their job offers, which means citizens or workers can only participate in a limited variety of work.

As a result

Linking Words

, the lucrative field of that company will not have the best consequence

due to

Linking Words

the lack of staff and their limited range of work. In conclusion, money is not the priority of everything and social

repsonsibilities

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

are needed for each

participants

Change to a singular noun

participant

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, none of these corporations should prioritize the importance of cash.

Hence

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay has given

evidences

Change the wording

evidence

pieces of evidence

shreds of evidence

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to clarify the opinion.

Submitted by [email protected] on Mon Jul 24 2023

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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The top priority of businessess is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that government shoud only focus their spending on public services, and they cliam that spending on arts is a waste of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people are off the opinion that giving a good first impression at an interviewer is the key securing a good job. To what extent do you agree?

In many countries crime rates among teenagers are higher than among other groups.What are the causes for this problem and what can be done to solve this?