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Band 6.5

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
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Nowadays, daily usage of smartphones is very common among children and youth.
This
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 is because of parents’ poor control of their sons and daughters. In my opinion, the phenomenon brings negative health-related causes to them. Today, many people,
due to
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 work or other commitments, may find it challenging to establish a routine that allows for consistency in a child's daily routine. Most of the time their sons and daughters are sitting at home alone without any surveillance of their parents. Because of
the
Correct determiner usage
this
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 fact, they are getting addicted to gadgets because they think that it is the only way of spending their time at home. A consistent routine can help children feel secure, and safe and provide them with an understanding of what is expected of them. It can include a set time for meals, sleep, study, and playtime. Establishing routines may require some flexibility and adjustment, but the benefits of doing so are worthwhile. Unfortunately, it has bad consequences related to the health of the children since standing for hours and hours staring at phones will affect badly to their eyesight. The medical term for the syndrome is called asthenopia, which means eye pain and eye fatigue.
Also
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, one may suffer from false myopia or pseudo myopia. Smartphone vision syndrome is becoming more common these days.
Thus
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, some Chinese medical researchers revealed that more youth are having eye-related health problems now than it was a decade ago.
That is
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due to
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 the fact that youth are using their smartphones from the morning till the night when they go to sleep. The blue light from the smartphone
brings
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has
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 some negative effects
to
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on
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 the eyes. In conclusion, more young boys and girls are spending much of their day using smartphones since their parents are
giving
Verb problem
paying
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 less attention to them because of their career-related business which may bring serious health problems.
Submitted by akram.amirkulov on

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coherence cohesion
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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