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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show ưhat UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008

The charts below show ưhat UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008
#show #ưhat #uk #graduate #students #work #college
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The bar graphs clearly illustrate the types of
work
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 did after graduating from postgraduate and
graduate
Use synonyms
 programmes in the UK in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
,
further
Linking Words
 studying was the most popular one among
people
Use synonyms
 who graduated and post-graduated,
whereas
Linking Words
, they did not prefer to
work
Use synonyms
 in charity
work
Use synonyms
 which had the lowest amount in the given data.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the
number
Use synonyms
 of postgraduate students in
further
Linking Words
 study was higher than the
graduate
Use synonyms
 learner with 2.755 and 29.665 respectively,
however
Linking Words
, these amounts were the highest ones in both postgraduate and
graduate
Use synonyms
 programmes among all categories. the
number
Use synonyms
 of workers who had a
graduate
Use synonyms
 licence in part-time
work
Use synonyms
 had approximately 7 times more than
people
Use synonyms
 who were postgraduate at 17,735 and 2.535 respectively. the figure for voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 of the post-graduated students was eighth one of
people
Use synonyms
 were volunteers after graduating. The
number
Use synonyms
 of unemployed was the third highest amount in both types of education levels and the
number
Use synonyms
 of unemployed citizens after a
graduate
Use synonyms
 degree was 10 times more than after a postgraduate degree.
Submitted by gficnm on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words work, people, graduate, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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