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Band 5

many people fail to achieve a balance between work and the other parts of life. What causes the situation? how to overcome this problem?

#people #balance #work #parts #life #situation
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In the modern era,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of
the
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apply
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individuals are trying to keep a balance between
the
Change the word
their
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 personal and professional life but,
most
Correct word choice
but most
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 of them can not maintain it.
This
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 essay will investigate the possible reasons and provide the solutions
of
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to
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this
Linking Words
 issue followed by a conclusion. There are numerous factors causing
imbalance
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an imbalance
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 between
work
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 and personal life. First and foremost, finance is the major reason. People want to earn
handsome
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a handsome
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 amount of money from their job so that, they can make their life luxurious.
Hence
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, they
work
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 longer hours leading to
lack
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a lack
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 of personal
time
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.
Secondly
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, some individuals do not have
extensive
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an extensive
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 social circle.
As a result
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, they feel
loneliness
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lonely
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 and choose
work
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 as an option to spend their leisure
time
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.
Therefore
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, they become addicted to working and spending most of their
time
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 at
workplace
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the workplace
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 rather than enjoying it with friends or family.
Nevertheless
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,
this
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 issue can be solved by following various methods. For those people, who want to keep pace with all the luxury of the world, they can search for more job opportunities with better packages.
Thus
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, they will not
work
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 for extra hours when they are earning the same amount in
short
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a short
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 period. By doing
this
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, they can utilize the saved
time
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 for personal activities like gym, family, and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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hobbies. Another method is to be more socialized. When a person has more friends, he does not feel alone and wants to enjoy with them.
Consequently
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, always thinks about managing the
time
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 for friends and
work
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.
To conclude
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, no doubt
the
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that
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 people in
this
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 materialistic world are focusing more on money
instead
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 of other sectors of their lives but still
this
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 balance can be maintained by adapting to optional approaches.
Submitted by happywander9 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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