Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

These days, people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that music, art and drama
subjects
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
a vital role in
children
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children's
show examples
deployment
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
at
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
early
age
. I totally agree with that because
this
help children to develop their
talents
at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
age
and can increase their confidence.
Firstly
, these
subjects
are as important as the other
subjects
because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
develop
childre's
Correct your spelling
children's
talent at
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
tender
age
. As they are young they can
purse
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pursue
show examples
anything and see in which field they wanna go and make it as a
hobbie
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hobby
or as a profession. They will probably not get any time in future as they will be busy to give exams and do the other needful things for their upcoming time and generation.
For example
, most famous singers discovered their
talents
at an early
age
or rather say at school
age
by their teachers or family members and they claimed they would be never successful if these people have not
find
Change the verb form
found
show examples
out their
talents
when they were young.
Moreover
, music, art, and drama
subjects
help students to boost their confidence
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
.
That is
because these
subjects
teaches
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teach
show examples
student, how to perform in front of lots of people and give them a chance to overcome their
anxity
Correct your spelling
anxiety
and
hestitation
Correct your spelling
hesitation
.
As a result
, students can realise their potential and act more confidently. In a survey, many psychologists suggest to students that those who are fear to talk with others must join a dram class so that he/she may have enough confidence to have a word with any stranger without any hesitation. In conclusion,
this
essay completely agrees that music, art, and drama have the same value as other
subjects
because it allows
childre
Correct your spelling
children
to discover their hidden
talents
and increase their self-confidence.
Submitted by srivastav.anmol03 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
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