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Band 5.5

The top priority of businesses is making money, and they do not need to have to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#priority #businesses #money #responsibilities
It is assumed that businesses should prioritize generating
profits
, and it is not necessary for them to obtain public responsibilities.
Although
this
 statement is somewhat justifiable, I believe that social abilities ought to be taken seriously in every
firms
Change to a singular noun
firm
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. It should
be acknowledge
Change the verb form
be acknowledged
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 that making money can bring many benefits. First and foremost, a company that has high
profits
 is likely to attract potential investors.
This
 can easily be recognized by the fact that successful companies often have a lot of investors.
Therefore
, the local or even national economy can experience enormous improvements. By maximizing
profits
, corporations are
also
 able to expand their production
as well as
 their workforce and,
thus
, partly solve the problem of increasing unemployment.
However
, without social responsibilities, firms are unlikely to survive for a long time. Unless businesses pay attention to the consequences of their actions,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
as well as
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 will be heavily affected. Environmental degradation, air and water pollution are typical problems that are caused by most firms nowadays. Despite the fact that they may generate
high
Add an article
a high
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 amount of money in
short
Add an article
the short
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 term, their image, or reputation, will be slowly spoiled and a big loss is inevitable in the future.
Besides
, there are alternative ways to improve
range
Correct article usage
the range
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, even better than high
profits
, that do not need to affect the environment. Philanthropic actions especially volunteering will be a good example for
this
. In conclusion,
while
 it is irrefutable that generating money plays a vital role in every
businesses
Change to a singular noun
business
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public responsibilities should be given high priority.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • profit maximization
  • economic development
  • Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR)
  • shareholders
  • moral obligation
  • reputation
  • customer loyalty
  • sustainable business models
  • accountability
  • ethical practices
  • regulations
  • consumer expectations
  • economic sustainability
  • stakeholders
  • social impact
What to do next:
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