Some pepople feel that the private lives of celebreties should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The issue of whether the private
lives
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of
celebrities
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should be shared by the
media
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is widely debated. Some believe that
celebrities
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have a right to privacy,
while
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others argue that public figures should expect
media
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attention. In my opinion,
while
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some
media
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coverage of
celebrities
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lives
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is understandable, their privacy should generally be respected. On the one hand,
celebrities
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are public figures, and their actions often influence society. Many people admire them, and their lifestyles can set trends.
For instance
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, fans may want to know about their
favorite
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favourite
show examples
celebrity’s daily life, fashion choices, or personal relationships.
Additionally
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,
media
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coverage can help expose important issues,
such
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as when
celebrities
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use their influence for charity work. In
this
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way, some level of
media
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attention on
celebrities
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’ private
lives
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can be justified.
On the other hand
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, excessive
media
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intrusion can harm
celebrities
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. Many
celebrities
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struggle with stress and anxiety because of constant attention. Paparazzi often invade their personal space, taking photos without consent, which can lead to dangerous situations.
For example
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, Princess Diana’s tragic death was partly
due to
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paparazzi chasing her car.
Moreover
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, not all information shared by the
media
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is accurate, leading to
rumors
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rumours
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that can damage reputations and personal relationships. In conclusion,
while
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some
media
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coverage of
celebrities
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lives
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is natural, their right to privacy should be respected. The
media
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should focus more on their professional achievements rather than their personal affairs. A balance must be maintained to ensure that
celebrities
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can live their
lives
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without unnecessary pressure.

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument, but it could benefit from a stronger thesis statement that clearly outlines your position in the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve linking phrases between ideas to enhance the flow of your essay. For example, using phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'Additionally' can help clarify connections between your points.
Task Achievement
While your examples are relevant, consider adding more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your argument is well-structured with clear topic sentences and a logical progression of ideas throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
You provided a balanced view, acknowledging both sides of the argument, which is a strength of your essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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