IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People today are suffering more and more stress related problems than in the past. What is the cause of this? What are the possible effects of this development

#people #stress #effects #development
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Is it
not
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,not
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 a gruesome reality that a person who has good health has all the wealth? Without a
skeptical
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sceptical
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, physical activities, play a vital role in
ones
Change to a genitive case
one's
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 life as they not only keep an individual healthy but
also
Linking Words
stress free
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stress-free
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. Despite
of
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apply
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knowing the steps towards
healthy
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a healthy
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 lifestyle, our society is still plagued with anxiety and depression and undoubtedly, the ratio is increasing with the passage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time. Commencing with the root cause, it would not be wrong to say that
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
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which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 have more money, face a lot of tension. Clearly, they are always worried about the management of the money and have greed of getting more in their mind, resulting in
downfall
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the downfall
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 of well-being.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 era is of competition. It can be certainly seen in all sectors starting from school to
an
Correct article usage
apply
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office cabinet. Honestly, everyone wants to show their superiority.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 development has given birth to various problems
such
Linking Words
 as schizophrenia and by- polar affective disorder. During
such
Linking Words
 a condition, the victim faces hallucinations
as well as
Linking Words
problem
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problems
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 in taking
basic
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the basic
a basic
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decision
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decisions
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of
Change preposition
in
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 life.
Moreover
Linking Words
, under pressure, some human beings, start consuming alcohol and taking drugs leading to
long term
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long-term
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 negative
effect
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effects
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 on
body
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the body
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. Suffice
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
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 say, problems are temporary and they can be solved in a better way.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 homo sapiens are occupied, they still should take out some time for their hobby and should join
yoga
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a yoga
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 or swimming club. Unless and until precautionary measures are adopted in time, the situation is most likely to go from bad to worst.
Submitted by pkaur3443 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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