Some countries have legal ages at which people can drink. Other countries believe not have strict laws is a better policy. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
It is considered by some
is
that alcohol can be drunk in some countries in legal Unnecessary verb
apply
ages
. While
there are others who think countries which do not have a
strict Correct article usage
apply
lows
is a better policy. In my opinion, I believe that legal Correct your spelling
laws
ages
for Fix the agreement mistake
age
drink
is the best policy, while
convenient
in laws is Replace the word
convenience
also
essential.
In
the one hand, many think life Change preposition
On
became
safe because of legal for Wrong verb form
has become
drink
. This
is because, when people
are drunk, they are not on their minds, so they perform dangerous actions for their selves and the environment. For example
, if they are drunk and drive a car they could have an accident which could be hurt for both sides. Furthermore
, drunk people
have nuclear vision, especially at night. As a result
, if there are
no legal Wrong verb form
were
ages
for drink
, it would be more dangerous and has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
huge
impact Add an article
a huge
in
Change preposition
on
the
societies. So Correct article usage
apply
allow
Wrong verb form
allowing
people
drink
will increase Fix the infinitive
to drink
in
social pests.
Change preposition
apply
On the other hand
, having lows
Fix the agreement mistake
low
convenient
is a better policy. Because Replace the word
convenience
to
much strict Replace the word
too
in
law is really bad in some moments which Change preposition
apply
considered
Add a missing verb
is considered
taken
freedom from citizens. Wrong verb form
taking
For example
, when people
depressed
the only way to enjoy and get better is Add a missing verb
are depressed
drink
, Fix the infinitive
to drink
while
, if drink
is totally prohibited they will Fix the agreement mistake
drinking
depress
more. Some Wrong verb form
be depressed
people
find drink
as Wrong verb form
drinking
best
way to relax from Add an article
the best
stress
of life. To put Add an article
the stress
is
simply, Correct your spelling
it
drink
is important for some Add an article
the drink
a drink
category
of Fix the agreement mistake
categories
people
even if they are minor
, and the government can not stop the addiction or Fix the agreement mistake
minors
prohibited
Wrong verb form
prohibit
drink
, because it leads to have
problems.
In conclusion, having legal Unnecessary verb
apply
ages
for drink
and strict laws are important to have a safe environment. If the government put more fine
on illegal staff, Fix the agreement mistake
fines
people
would be strict enough.Submitted by s_syedy on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas by organizing the essay into clear paragraphs with topic sentences and supporting details.
task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed, and present a more precise position in the introduction.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied expressions to enhance your writing.
grammatical range
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, sentence structure, and punctuation to improve overall grammar.