The top priority of bussiness is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree
It is
believing
that making Wrong verb form
believed
money
is a bussiness's
top priority, but the social Correct your spelling
business's
responbilities
is Correct your spelling
responsibilities
also
unnecessary. It is true that making money
is the best promotion of the business
work so I completely agree about that opinion
Firstly
, working or owning a business
is the way to get the
reasonable economic resources, by the Correct article usage
apply
way
Add the comma(s)
,way
money
from business
completely help
us change our life quickly. Some Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
investor
got Fix the agreement mistake
investors
the
Correct article usage
a
luxury
life from Replace the word
luxurious
run
a Change the form of the verb
running
business
, they choose in corporate
market because Add an article
the corporate
business
is Correct article usage
a business
the
branch which Correct article usage
a
exemely
high Correct your spelling
extremely
profit
from trading, auctioning, Fix the agreement mistake
profits
hunting
in the international market. By all means, the Correct word choice
and hunting
propose
of Correct your spelling
purpose
businessman
is the subsequent economic profits. Once you go to the marketing fields you will accept that you have all or lose it all. If you want to generate profits, you can Add an article
a businessman
the businessman
also
take part in operating the company
Secondly
, but
if you think that Correct word choice
apply
money
is the whole result of business
revolution, that's faulty. The very vital and significant aspect is public Add an article
the business
a business
responbilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
also
need to be elaborated when the companies want to prioritize the face of the business
. It is not only the face of the firm,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
the condition for the general public to acess
the attitude of the existence of the corporation in the field. Correct your spelling
access
assess
Nevertheless
, the social responbilities
simply just that raise Correct your spelling
responsibilities
fund
for the Fix the agreement mistake
funds
underpriveged
or join the community Correct your spelling
underprivileged
Correct your spelling
activities
acitivities
, as a Correct your spelling
activities
conquence
Correct your spelling
consequence
that is
not the main purpose but the important aim the
firm towards to get Change preposition
of the
high
promotion
In conclusion, Add an article
a high
the high
maximize
profits to stem for Wrong verb form
maximising
business
but the social Correct your spelling
responsibilities
responbilities
are something which Correct your spelling
responsibilities
lead
to the success of the corporationChange the verb form
leads
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite