The graph below shows the participation of Australian children in sports outside school hours in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#participation #australian #children #sports #school #hours #summarise #information #features #comparisons

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The

supllied

Correct your spelling

supplied

illustration of

bar

Correct article usage

the bar

show examples

graph demonstrates information about

attendance

Add an article

the attendance

show examples

of Australian

puple

Correct your spelling

pupils

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

clubs in their leisure time in 2014.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is obvious that the most popular sport among

boys

Use synonyms

was football,

whereas

Linking Words

girls

Use synonyms

were really keen on netball games. It is interesting to note that swimming was widespread for both

gender

Change to a plural noun

genders

show examples

and

thay

Correct your spelling

they

almost had no differences in

participation

Add an article

the participation

show examples

rate,

Use synonyms

Add an article

the boys

show examples

boys

Change noun form

boys'

boy's

show examples

attendance rate was nearly 14 and

Use synonyms

girls

Change noun form

girls'

girl's

show examples

a little more than 15.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it is worth considering that football being the most favoured among the

boys

Use synonyms

and having 20 participants, was the most non-distributed for

opposite

Add an article

the opposite

show examples

gender. Netball had the same situation,

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

it was mostly in favour of

girls

Use synonyms

with attendants

just

Change preposition

of just

show examples

about 20 people and most disliked for

boys

Use synonyms

with participants less than 5.

Next,

Linking Words

basketball was popular

bor

Correct your spelling

for

show examples

both genders on the same level with

difference

Fix the agreement mistake

differences

show examples

just for one or two people.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, neither

girls

Use synonyms

for 5 students nor

boys

Use synonyms

Change preposition

for a

show examples

little less than 5 haven't been attending

Change preposition

apply

show examples

any sports.

Submitted by amina07id on Tue Jul 25 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Introduction: The introduction is missing.

▼

Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

169 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Participation rate
Gender-specific sports
Popular
Predominantly
Comparison
Significant
Visible difference
Participation gap
Non-gender specific sports
Out-of-school activities

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Nowadays people like to use new electronic equipment. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Electronic devices have spreaded fastly and begun to utilizing wide range of field from healthcare assistance to navigation. At this point a question comes to the minds: whether the use of electronic devises is a positive amendment? It can be easily stated that using electronic devices makes people’s lives easier by helping on the road and monitoring general health status without a licenced medical worker.
4
band
Research shows that business meetings, discussions and training are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Technology has been changing individuals life in terms of business, daily routine in recent years. Considerin job marker, people have started to make online meetings ,instead of conventional way. At that pointi there comes a question to the mind: whether online meetings' advantages outweigh the disadvantages or not. It can be esaily stated that this novelty has been bringing workers life siginificant merits, including better time management and improved life quality.
4.5
band
The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those time than they are now. What problems will this cause ? What can be done to solve these problems ?
A vast number if cities and towns were constructed in ancient time. These were best places to live for people. However, these are not longer suitable nowadays. This is due to the fact that these towns and cities lack public transportation and essential modern facilities such as hospitals and schools. Hence, local governments should release public transportation vehicles and start to establish necessary facilities.
5
band
You have seen an advertisement in an English newspaper for a job working in the City Museum shop during the holidays. You decide to apply for the job. Write a letter to the director of the Museum. In your letter: •introduce yourself •explain what experience and special skills you have •explain why you are interested in the job
Dear SIr or Madam , I am writing to inform you that i wanted to apply for the job regarding customer service assistance that advertised in the english newspaper . I think i have all the qualifications and proficiencies that is required for the job . I am post graduate student of the Dhakila Unviversity of your city and I have completed graduation in plantd and anthropology . I live close to your museum and available anytime for this job . Although , I have two year professional expirence in the customer service in the museum , where i provide valuable information to the clients regarding any picture and even share the history behind it . I am interested in this job because it will improve my social skills as well as providing me opportunity to...
7
band
Eco-tourism usually involves people visiting remote areas. Some poeple think this will have a negative impact on local cultures and communities. What are they? how can they be overcome?
Tourism has become increasingly prevalent over the past decade. While eco-tourism does provide financial benefits to nations, citizenries and regional cultures can be jeopardized in the process. This essay delves deeper into the threats posed by tourism on local societies and their norms, and explores panaceas to overcome these problems.

The graph below shows the participation of Australian children in sports outside school hours in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Nowadays people like to use new electronic equipment. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Research shows that business meetings, discussions and training are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those time than they are now. What problems will this cause ? What can be done to solve these problems ?

Eco-tourism usually involves people visiting remote areas. Some poeple think this will have a negative impact on local cultures and communities. What are they? how can they be overcome?