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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society inter adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local customs and codes of behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #countries #society #immigrants #customs #codes #behaviour
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Present days, it is quite often
people
Use synonyms
 are moving from their own country to another nation.
Besides
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, to be a part of a particular community they need to leave their own customs
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and follow regional traditions. Though I partially agree with the statement, they have to accept some changes in their way of living, but
also
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 , they should not leave their rituals.
To begin
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 with, migrating families dream
to live
Change preposition
of living
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 in developed countries, despite considering the barriers associated with it, especially, the local language. It is evident that most of the developing country citizens decide to return to their homeland, even if they have a bright future in a foreign, because they may not understand the local language.
Moreover
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, governments should take the initiative to remove these obstacles by providing various services.
For instance
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, Canada subsidises the cost of learning French for international students,
as well as
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, international workers.
Due to
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 that, immigrants feel more comfortable,
also
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, they provide vital support in the growth of the nation.
On the other hand
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, technology plays an inevitable role
to spread
Change preposition
in spreading
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 awareness about other cultures. To illustrate, globally
people
Use synonyms
 are connected to each other through social media.
Further
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, they share information about their festivals and rituals.
In addition
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, if
people
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 celebrate their festivals on foreign soil, local
people
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 are able to understand the value of
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
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 culture.
Also
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, they not only participate in their rituals but
also
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, give equal respect to their traditional customs.
However
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, sometimes when
people
Use synonyms
 find their community
people
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, they
have
Verb problem
do
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 not put effort
to integrate
Change preposition
into integrating
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 with the locals. In conclusion, I believe that, When
people
Use synonyms
 decide to settle down in another nation, they must be flexible.
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
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, they should respect local values. but, they should not forget their own culture and its importance.
Submitted by harshtrivedi78 on

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