IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows consumers’ average annual expenditure on cell phones, national and international fixed-line, and services in America between 2001 and 2010.

The graph below shows consumers’ average annual expenditure on cell phones, national and international fixed-line, and services in America between 2001 and 2010.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph illustrates the annual average expenses on
cell
Use synonyms
 phones, national
fixed-line
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
, and international
fixed-line
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 in America from 2001 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 observed a steady and remarkable increase throughout the decade, becoming the highest spending category by 2010.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the national
fixed-line
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 counterpart is the reverse. Meanwhile, international
fixed-line
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 maintained a relatively stable spending pattern with only minor fluctuations. To delve into specifics, in 2001, national
fixed-line
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 began with the highest average
expenditure
Use synonyms
, nearly triple that of
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 and international
fixed-line
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, by 2006, its expenses had reduced significantly to intersect with the amount spent on
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, in 2010, the annual mean
expenditure
Use synonyms
 on national
fixed-line
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 reached its lowest point at $400.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 depicted an upward trajectory, starting from the lowest
expenditure
Use synonyms
 in 2001 and consistently rising until it peaked at around $350 in 2010. During the same period, international
fixed-line
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 remained relatively stable, with only slight fluctuations, ranging from approximately $300 in 2001 to about $350 in 2010. For international
fixed-line
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
, within the same time period,
this
Linking Words
 annual average
expenditure
Use synonyms
 did not endure any significant changes, from almost $300 to one-half of the highest at approximately $350.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words cell, fixed-line, services, phone, expenditure with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: