In some countries children take up paid jobs during the summer vacation. Some people feel that this amounts to child labour. Others argue that summer jobs help children learn valuable lessons. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is often believed that
children
having summer
jobs should be blamed for the risk of child labour but some people are optimistic about this
as they can be valuable opportunities for them to acquire various skills and knowledge. I partially support the latter since summer
jobs can offer a stimulating experience
regardless of the fact that children
are often employed to fill the shortage of
the workforce.
On the one hand, Change preposition
in
children
working during a summer
vacation gain benefits as they are encouraged to acquire different techniques and intelligence, which are helpful in real life. In other words
, those who have the experience
of working are able to expand their understanding, which is not usually taught at school. For instance
, children
working in an agricultural field are able to understand the use of special equipment as well as
a certain procedure of seeding in addition
to the general knowledge of farming. Thus
, the actual experience
of working allows them to obtain precious skills and knowledge that may be passed down for generations, increasing their curiosity and motivation for learning.
On the other hand
, children
having a job during a vacation are often criticized since they are often employed due to
the shortage of workforce. Indeed, they often face an overwhelming physical workload as people need more workers to increase their profits. For example
, they usually work under poor conditions including an
intense heat during Correct article usage
apply
summer
and insufficient rest as adults put more priority on their own benefits. Thus
, the experience
of working does not always have a positive effect on them as they are often regarded as a convenient workforce who are employed temporarily without their health and happiness being secured.
In conclusion, I somewhat agree that summer
jobs are beneficial to children
as they are able to access valuable information which is restrictive to a certain workplace, which boosts their eagerness to brush up their skills and intelligence. However
, they are often employed only to provide the services employers want, which disappoints children
.Submitted by mizuho on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments, making them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all main points are fully developed and clearly connected to your thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Refine your introduction and conclusion to more clearly state your stance and summarize your main points.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view of both perspectives regarding children taking summer jobs.
task achievement
The use of real-life examples, such as those related to agricultural work, enriches the essay.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure and the flow of ideas between paragraphs is generally clear and maintains cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow the overall argument.