IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The three maps give data on the developments that which took place at Queen Mary Hospital in three years (1960, 1980, and 2000).

The three maps give data on the developments that which took place at Queen Mary Hospital in three years (1960, 1980, and 2000).
The three maps give data on the developments that
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
took place at Queen Mary Hospital in three years (1960, 1980, and 2000). A glance at the graph reveals that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 a comparison of three maps reveals a change from unimportant centres to a cancer
centre
Use synonyms
, where people get treatment and undergo
reabilitation
Correct your spelling
rehabilitation
. In 1960, the clinic was more general including constructions like Shopping
Centre
Use synonyms
, Farmland, and of course
Hospital
Correct article usage
the Hospital
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 and Car Park,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 during the next 20
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
this
Linking Words
 area experienced a number of dramatic changes. The most noticeable that
Shopping
Correct article usage
the Shopping
show examples
Centre
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
was knoked
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knoked
Correct your spelling
knocked
 down and
replaced
Add a missing verb
was replaced
show examples
 by
Cancer
Correct article usage
a Cancer
show examples
Centre
Use synonyms
 and
Pharmasy
Correct your spelling
Pharmacy
,
whereas
Linking Words
instead
Linking Words
 of
Farmland
Correct article usage
a Farmland
show examples
 was built Nursing School. In 2000, the Hospital allocated more space for Cancer
Centre
Use synonyms
 combining it with
building
Add an article
the building
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 of
Nurce
Correct article usage
the Nurce
show examples
Centre
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the Car Park which had not undergone changes, was split into two parts, one remained
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
parking,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 other built for Nurses

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words centre with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
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