IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Topic 1 : As computers are being used more and more in education, there will soon be no role for the teacher in the classroom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#topic #computers #education #role #teacher #classroom
Nowadays, a wide range of technologies
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 employed in many aspects of daily life. Computer use is increasing, particularly in education, which will eliminate the need for
teachers
 in the
classroom
. From my perspective, I completely disagree with
this
 viewpoint. 
 The use of computers for educational purposes has many benefits. Lessons are more easily accessible in a variety of circumstances, to start. Physical barriers do not prevent anyone from attending class; all they require is an internet-connected computer or phone, which may be used by both professors and pupils.
Second,
a plethora of study resources, including photographs, videos, and presentations, may be utilized to supplement the lectures, making the information easier for students to comprehend.
Furthermore
,
this
 is a difficult assignment for a teacher to carry out in a traditional
classroom
.
 The crucial skill when working with children or teenagers is handling their emotions, which is something that those machines are incapable of doing.
Teachers
,
on the other hand
, are able to relate to their pupils' emotions and are skilled at assisting them in moving past them.
In addition
,
while
 some qualities, including empathy, social skills, and leadership, can only be learned in a
classroom
, these are not things that machines can teach people.
As a result
,
teachers
 continue to play a crucial role in the
classroom
 since they are able to set up group activities, interact with students, and oversee the machines—all of which are necessary to support kids'
overall
 development. In all, machines perform a fundamental role in education, but the appearance of
teachers
 in classrooms is still essential.
Submitted by dohuyhoang on

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task achievement
The introduction could briefly set the context regarding the role of computers in education before expressing your viewpoint. This will enhance the clarity and provide a smoother entry into the discussion.
task achievement
You provided clear and comprehensive ideas, but a few more specific examples to illustrate your points would strengthen your argument. For instance, mention specific scenarios or studies to support your claims.
coherence cohesion
The essay sections are generally well-structured and coherent. However, minor transitions between points can be enhanced. For example, transitioning from the advantages of computer use to the emotional needs of students could be smoother.
coherence cohesion
Add a stronger conclusion that not only summarizes the main points but also reinforces your stance. Try to emphasize the lasting importance of teachers despite technological advances.
task achievement
Your main ideas are clearly stated and argued, demonstrating an in-depth understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your paragraphs are well-organized, and the logical flow of ideas makes your argument easy to follow.
task achievement
You emphasized the human aspects that teachers bring, such as empathy and emotional support, which is a critical point in this debate.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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