IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some young people look forward to a year of travelling, a 'gap year'; before they begin work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others this is an expensive waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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A
gap
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year
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,
an
Correct article usage
a
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year
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-long break before pursuing higher education, is commonly regarded as either a perfect opportunity at self development or a waste of useful
time
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. I disagree with the idea that taking a
gap
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 is
beneficial
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beneficial,
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 as it is more of a moment of leisure for students to avoid their academic responsibilities.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a
gap
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year
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, unless planned from
financial
Correct article usage
a financial
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lens
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lens,
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 can lead to expensive trips, unpaid apprenticeships or internships and no proper stable income lead students
into
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to tap into
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tearing
Verb problem
apply
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their savings
apart
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,
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 which
otherwise
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 could have gone to their university
tuittion
Correct your spelling
tuition
.
Furthermore
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,
university
Correct article usage
a university
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 is a
high traffic
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high-traffic
 area full
on
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of
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 knowledge which needs the proper
skills
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 to be processed, memorised and applied. Those
skills
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Linking Words
such
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, such
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 as mathematical, analyzing and writing
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skills
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skills,
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 can rot over
time
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leading
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, leading
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 to needing to rebuild them from the ground
again
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up again
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. Without
rigid
Correct article usage
a rigid
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 structure and discipline
a
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, a
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gap
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year
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 can go as fast as it started
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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 no progress made whatsoever.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some individuals might include the risk of burnout as it is at its peak during academic years
due to
Linking Words
 the
high stress
Correct your spelling
high-stress
 environment they are instantly sent to right after school, another stressful period of
time
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. High schoolers may get some insight into their future career, as a
gap
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year
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 allows for one to focus on themselves and try to find what
migh
Correct your spelling
might
 be their real passion if they have not found it yet. Whilst that
gap
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year
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 could have been spent in university indulging in theory of all sorts, that same
year
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 could be spent acquiring precious knowledge,
skills
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 and experience for the upcoming adult world. The bottom line is
a
Correct word choice
that a
show examples
gap
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year
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 is as useful as students make it. If it is treated as an
year
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-off to just binge shows and
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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time
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 with their friends, it can be a massive waste of momentum. If treated
right
Punctuation problem
right,
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 it can offer an incredible amount of valuable experience and the best investments they could have made.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Say more about why some think a gap year is good, and more about why others think it is bad.
task response
Give one clear opinion in the introduction and keep it strong to the end.
task response
Use one or two real and clear examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make some sentences shorter and clearer, so the reader can follow your ideas more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, for example, and in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Develop each main point a little more before moving to the next one.
task response
You discuss both views and you give your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraphs with an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are easy to follow, and the main message is clear.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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