It is currently believed that children's behaviour and misconduct is due to the lack of strict discipline and punishment applied by parents. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In today's world, it is commonly considered that

children

Use synonyms

's misconduct and bad behaviour

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

a result of

inappropriate

Punctuation problem

inappropriate,

show examples

stringent discipline and being punished by their

parents

Use synonyms

Although

Linking Words

there

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

a wide variety of factors affecting

children

Use synonyms

manner

Fix the agreement mistake

manners

show examples

, I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

viewpoint. In the paragraphs to come, I shall

further

Linking Words

my ideas on

this

Linking Words

stance.

Firstly

Linking Words

, there are a lot of drawbacks and detrimental effects in punishing

Use synonyms

children

Punctuation problem

children,

show examples

especially

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

by their

parents

Use synonyms

during

childhood

Use synonyms

years. Not only does punishment

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

some physical pain for

children

Use synonyms

, but

Linking Words

also it

Correct word order

it also

show examples

has a wide variety of negative influences on

children

Use synonyms

's brains and behaviour since they experience some shocking moments.

For example

Linking Words

, some recent surveys and research demonstrated that nearly all criminals had a terrible

childhood

Use synonyms

and they were physically punished over and over by their

parents

Use synonyms

with

Change preposition

for

show examples

no important reason. It can be seen that these

children

Use synonyms

can not follow the disciplines and rules in future and want to be harmful to society and bother other individuals for no special

reason

Punctuation problem

reason,

show examples

as they didn't learn to respect other

people

Use synonyms

and rules.

Secondly

Linking Words

, when

children

Use synonyms

grow up with no rules and undergo different punishments, there will be a sense of revenge in their minds

especially

Punctuation problem

, especially

show examples

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

during adulthood.

In other words

Linking Words

, they commit a crime since they think that it is their duty to damage other

people

Use synonyms

in society.

For instance

Linking Words

, most scholars claim that serial killers in most cases choose their victims among

people

Use synonyms

that are resembling

Wrong verb form

who resemble

show examples

the ones that bothered them during their

childhood

Use synonyms

sometimes

Punctuation problem

, sometimes

show examples

like their

parents

Use synonyms

. It seems that

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of discipline and punishment

guide

Correct subject-verb agreement

guides

show examples

them to

this

Linking Words

pass to commit lots of crimes to compensate for their pain during their

childhood

Use synonyms

years.

To conclude

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

the manner of

children

Use synonyms

is influenced by some factors, I strongly believe that when

parents

Use synonyms

have no discipline and punish their

children

Use synonyms

a lot, they

forced

Wrong verb form

force

show examples

their

children

Use synonyms

Verb problem

become

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

criminal

Fix the agreement mistake

criminals

show examples

in future since punishment

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

lots of negative physical and mental effects

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

these

children

Use synonyms

learn to bother other

people

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, they always have a sense of revenge for other individuals in society

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

force

Correct subject-verb agreement

forces

show examples

them to have aggressive behaviour towards others.

yavari1993

Jul 26, 2023

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coherence

Your answer has a clear stance and uses order like First, Secondly, and To conclude. Work on linking ideas more smoothly and keep sentences short and easy.

grammar

Fix grammar errors like subject-verb form and wrong word use. For example, 'punishment has some physical pain' can be 'punishment can cause physical pain'.

lexical-precision

Be careful with big claims. Use phrases like 'some studies show' instead of 'nearly all criminals'.

task response

Add more real examples or data to back each main point. This will make your view strong.

structure

Finish with a short sum that restates your view. The end can be tighter and clearer.

task response

The stance is clear from the start.

coherence

Signpost words show plan (Firstly, Secondly, To conclude).

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

360 words

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It is currently believed that children's behaviour and misconduct is due to the lack of strict discipline and punishment applied by parents. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that formal education should start for children as early as possible, while others think that it should not start until 7 years of age . Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Some students work while studying, resulting in a lack of time for education and constant pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problem. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the Internet. What potential problems may this trend lead to? What solutions can you suggest to deal with it?

One of the consequence of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?