IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.

#price #petrol #traffic #pollution
Nowadays the number of cars in the street has created uncountable difficulty for societies. Meantime, average
people
 have calculated the cost
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 daily
commute
Fix the agreement mistake
commutes
show examples
.so, in my sight if they force by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
heavier money, it irrefutably has
impact
Add an article
an impact
show examples
 on their manner towards
carriage
Add an article
the carriage
show examples
. At the same time, other ways should be done
due to
 widely variate kinds of reasons for the traffic. There are many reasons why in my perspective the idea is essentially effective.
Firstly
, it is generally admitted that public transformations are one of the best paths that would change the traffic issue. Meanwhile,
while
people
 find their personal vehicle accessible in terms of price, it seems complicated to convince them
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
other choice
Change the wording
another choice
other choices
show examples
.
For instance
, trains and buses are beneficial for either the environment or folk if the price of gas goes higher.
Secondly
, regardless of the sort of situation
Change preposition
in that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 having a personal car might be necessary, the public
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 going to be logically cautious about the time to drive in case of emergency. To illustrate what I meant, earlier, families have tended to hang out aimlessly in
street
Correct article usage
the street
show examples
, indeed, it makes them excited as
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as other entertainment.
Accordingly
, having a walk
instead
 of that would alternatively be a choice
instead
 of extra money. There is another solution that might be determinative for those who still can adjust the price and run personal
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
. First and foremost, it is not deniable how the measure of wellness in public transport is significant,
in particular
 for
people
 who don’t have financial
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
show examples
. As an example, in
Dubai
Add a comma
,Dubai
show examples
 part of trains have better equipment that
accordingly
 is expensive but a good option for
this
 kind of citizen.
On the other hand
, in my area cars have divided by their number that case of limitation some days they do not let be out and if be, they will
punish
Add a missing verb
be punish
show examples
 by the police.
Such
 as separating by odd and even days. In brief, higher prices could decrease
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic to a great extent because for more
people
 it goes irrational to spend.
However
 other solutions for others who are capable of paying more money are important too.
Submitted by fami on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • discourage
  • incentivize
  • environmentally friendly
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • pollutants
  • alternative energy sources
  • sustainable economy
  • disproportionately affect
  • daily commuting
  • infrastructure
  • urban planning
  • comprehensive solutions
  • public transportation systems
What to do next:
Look at other essays: